


Castles and Bricks

by maddog13



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, coarse language definitely, lady friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddog13/pseuds/maddog13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Misty needs roommates. Beggars can't be choosers so she ends up with a bunch of crazies. Iris was homeless and was basically raised in the woods, Dawn has commitment issues and a really shady job, May is a naive and sheltered runaway bride, and Serena is eighteen and knocked up. Let the shenanigans ensue. College AU. Minor Poke, Contest, Ikari, Wishful, and Geekchicshipping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Misty is not subtle or sociable but gets extremely lucky...

Roommates sucked. That was an undisputed fact in Misty's brain. All of them were scum of the earth, awful people.

Why?

Because she didn't have any that's why.

They all left, damn them. Sure, she had never actually really spoken with them properly, and maybe Misty was a bit of an asshole, but that didn't mean they could just up and move out, leaving her with a rent bigger than all her sister's egos combined. She was still a good roommate she knew two out of three of their names. Let's see there was Erika… Yasmin (or was it Jasmine? She couldn't recall) and… well so maybe she knew one and a half names out of three but it wasn't like they were any better. One of the girls who wasn't important enough for Misty's brain to hold on to her name called her Marissa for two whole fucking years.

Now they were gone, some of them moving in with boyfriends Misty had never met but heard very clearly from the safety of her room. It sometimes got so bad Misty had almost burst in on their naked and sweaty selves and smothered them with their cheap ass pillows. The others were going to new universities or something. Those girls had majored in something, they did after all study, but Misty had no idea what they actually were reading about.

If she wasn't broke then maybe this would be the best thing that ever happened to her, a three bedroom apartment all to herself. It sounded a little like heaven. Except the monthly rent which added up to a whopping two thousand a month. No one had that kind of money. Maybe Bill Gates or a really in demand stripper but that's about it. Misty was unfortunately neither.

There was always moving but not only was that a pain in her backside, this apartment's location was perfect and only a few minutes from her school. She'd been hunting for apartments for the past couple weeks and nothing was cheap and close to the school. Roommates were her only option.

Now she had one month to find at least three roommates and before her first semester of her last year of school began.

Fun.

Where to begin?

On the upside, Misty did have one candidate in mind.

There was a pretty cool waitress at the diner Misty often found herself at after a night of shame and drinking. She seemed pretty cool and made a mean black coffee that worked wonders for hangovers. They hadn't spoken much apart from Misty's food and drink orders and one-sided drunk small talk. Still she appeared to be roommate material so Misty had to come up with a plan to subtly ask a girl she'd only known for… well not long, to move in with her.

Subtle was not one of Misty's strong points if she was being honest.

That's how she ended up at the Hearthome City Diner with a shitty add to put on their bulletin board.

Scanning the counters Misty spotted her target.

"Hey Iris," She greeted with a smile.

A short girl with long purple hair and a deep skin tone turned around and smiled,

"Misty? What are you doing here stone cold sober?"

Ah. There it was.

"Hey I'm not always—

"You're such a kid, really pull your life together," The girl chastised.

"I'm sorry how old are you again?" Misty asked with narrowed eyes.

Iris laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of her head.

"Yeah, that's what I thought smart ass," Misty grinned proudly, "I'm just here to post an ad, and I think I'll take my usual to go."

Iris held her hand out expectantly and was then handed the sheet of paper. She observed it with unimpressed eyes chuckled.

" _This_ , is your ad?" She scoffed, "It's just a sheet of paper with one line of text that says…" Iris paused to read it, "Roommates needed, bring your own shit. Call this number."

"What of it?"

"This is the worst piece of advertisement I've ever seen, and I love it," Iris explained and then asked with a raised eyebrow, "Wait, aren't you a PR Major? Either you should ask your school for your money back or you should change majors."

"It's not like I have much to offer or embellish. I'm pretty much the person you wouldn't ever—"

Misty stopped suddenly. She was trying to convince Iris to move into her apartment, not put her off the idea indefinitely. Maybe the girl was right, switching Majors might be in her best interest. She was getting off topic.

"Uh… what's wrong?"

"Nothing! I was just wondering if you wanted to move into my apartment!" Misty burst out.

Dammit she shouldn't have blurted that out, so much for subtlety. Lily had always said that she had the subtlety of a jack hammer. Violet had said a gun. Daisy had said a steamroller.

"Yeah sure."

"Wait, I swear it would even be that bad— wait, what? Really?"

That was easy… too easy?

"I mean sure, it is fast, asking me to live with you just like that. We haven't even gone on our first date yet."

"Har har har." Misty deadpanned, "So you're in?"

"Of course," She replied, "I'm sort of sick of my tiny ass place, I like having someone to live with."

"Great, I'm glad you think so because I need at least two more people to move in with us or else I'm getting evicted."

"Damn, you really do need to get your life together," Iris sighed, as Misty blushed furiously, "I just have a few conditions."

"Shoot."

"One, you can't be a psycho killer who will cut me up, deep freeze me, then toast me for breakfast."

"Naw, you're safe there. Even if I was, I'd consider you too small and not worth the effort." Misty was slightly… explosive, but she hadn't killed anyone yet.

"Two, are animals permitted?"

"Do you have a pet?"

"No, but I like to be prepared."

"Sorry no animals, but one of my roommates kept a dog for two years and the landlady never noticed," Misty assured her, "Or maybe she just didn't care, I can't be sure."

"Three, I have to approve the other roommates."

"I need all the help I can get." And Lord knows Misty did.

"Last one, no one by the name of Georgia will ever set foot in said apartment."

"Uh… OK?" The hell?

"When can I move in?"

"Tonight?"

"Heh, why not?"

* * *

Doorbells were the invention of Satan, of this Misty was sure of.

" _FUCK!"_ She cursed when the basted thing woke her up from her insanely comfortable and relaxing nap, "What in the name of sweet Christmas is it?! It is an unlawful hour and if you don't have a good reason for darkening my doorstep I'll—" She swung the door open violently and halted when she saw who was standing there, Iris and another girl she'd never met before. Iris seemed unaffected but the other girl looked a little freaked out, "Crap, I'm sorry. I forgot you'd be coming. I fell asleep…"

"Whatever," Iris said, waving her off, "Don't be bother by her Dawn, she's just criminally insane."

"Uh…" The navy haired girl began, but thought better of it and instead introduced her, "I'm Dawn, nice to meet you!"

"Misty, charmed," She muttered, "What are you doing here?"

"We're here to crash your place!" Iris announced, lifting up her bags for emphasis, "Dawn here is your newest roommate. One down, two to go."

Misty gave her a strange look, would have been nice to have a warning that another person was moving in, but then again beggars can't be choosers. Her eyes then gravitated towards what they were carrying, they only had a few bags…

"Is that all you brought?"

"Yeah, and?"

Yeah and the ad said bring your own shit. Misty was kind of hoping they'd bring a lot of it.

"Well, alright then, come on in," She said uncertainly.

Misty watched as the two walked through the door, scared for their reaction to her choice in, well, interior decorating.

"It's empty," Dawn said plainly.

And that it was.

All Misty had to her name was a microwave oven, an air mattress, a set of plastic plates from Ikea, a package of disposable forks, and her clothes that were folded neatly in a pile since she hadn't put them in the closet yet. Oh, and a coffee maker.

"Where's all the furniture?"

"Uh… my old housemates sort of took it with 'em."

"What a bunch of jerks— What the fuck?! You have a bunch of dead fish on your walls!" Iris laughed heartily, clutching her stomach, "Why?"

"Because fish are awesome that's why." Misty said, there was no other explanation needed for the various sizes of fish that she had mounted on her walls.

What? She liked to fish.

"I feel like they're staring into my soul," Dawn remarked casually, "Are there any of those in my room?"

"No."

"Let's keep it that way."

Misty nodded; somewhat offended that the girl didn't appreciate the beauty that was aquatic animals. She had much to teach these young ones.

"Seriously though," Iris groaned, "What the hell are we supposed to do with an empty apartment?"

"No need to worry! Y'know I can have some of my friends help move in some of the furniture I have in storage. I've got plenty to fill this place up."

"I hope you know that I already love you Dawn, let's get married," Misty grinned taking Dawn's hand and kissing it jokingly, Dawn giggled as if embarrassed.

"Alright love birds, that's great and all, but what are we supposed to do tonight?" Iris said, breaking the two of them up.

"I have a queen sized air mattress!" Misty yelled out raising her hand into the air, "Feel free to use it!"

"I'm fine on the floor," Iris replied, "Just worried about Princess Dawn here, she's used to comfort."

Dawn frowned,

"Not true! Excuse me if I like having a pillow," She sniffed, "We all can't be crazy outdoor enthusiasts like you!"

"You're such a kid, calm down."

"I'm older than you."

Misty held back a smile; this was going to be fun.

* * *

How Dawn managed to be so pretty and peppy in the ungodly hours of the morning, then again Misty thought that all AM hours were ungodly, but that was hardly the point.

Misty watched in an almost disgusted awe as Dawn flitted about the kitchen gracefully, humming a pretty tune to herself as she prepared coffee for the three of them.

"So Dawn," Misty asked as approached the girl, "You know anyone looking for a place?"

The blue haired girl grinned happily as if to say she did, but shook her head saying no. That was some mixed message if Misty ever saw one. This girl was confusing as shit.

"Sorry, I might have if you asked me like two weeks ago.

"But I didn't," Misty deadpanned.

"Too bad, my ex-girlfriend Zoey totally would have said yes but she's moving in with her new girlfriend, Candice. You would totally love them; I should introduce you guys sometime, I'm sure they'll come by sometimes."

Misty stared at her dumbly.

"What?" Dawn asked, tilting her head to the side, her obnoxiously blue eyes filled with confusion.

"You're friends with you ex and their partner?"

"Yeah, so? Is that bad?"

Well excuse the fuck out of Misty, but she thought it was perfectly normal that you never speak to the dreaded ex after the break up and sort of erase them from your lives, not keep them around and befriend the very reminder that they're with someone else. Honestly, Dawn was so weird.

"Uh… no?"

"Is it because she's a girl?"

"Hah?!" Misty gaped, "Hell no, I'm not from the dark ages. I just want my exes to burn in hell where they belong, not offer them as many opportunities as possible to be in my shining presence."

Dawn laughed musically, so much so it was annoying how much of an adorable person she was,

"Zoey's really cool, and we're on great terms. She's one of my close friends. No bad blood there, plus I really like Candice, she's super nice and she always has a lot of wine at her house."

"You really are something," Misty commented, not at all convinced that something like that was possible but made a mental note to always invite this Candice to dinner parties, or parties in general.

As she spoke Iris emerged from her room, rubbing her eyes and mumbling about coffee and how she hoped for their sake they hadn't eaten her Lucky Charms. Misty was scared to break the news to the girl that there was no refrigerator in this apartment and therefor Lucky Charms was not possible due to the lack of milk but Iris grabbed a box from the counter, reached in, and stuffed a handful of it in her mouth.

That solved that problem.

"So," She began, voice muffled from the marshmallows and diabetes in her mouth, "What are you guys talking about?"

"Misty is shocked that Zoey, Candice, and I are friends, given our history," Dawn informed her as if Misty was a child.

"Hey, I think it's a little odd, that's all." Misty defended herself, sticking out her lower lip.

Iris snickered, some cereal falling from her mouth as she did so,

"Dawn's relationship with Zoey and Candice is like, the least complicated area of her life."

Wow.

"Alright!" Dawn said suddenly, apparently reading to change the subject, pumping her fists in determination, "Let's whip this apartment into shape!"

Wow she was pumped. Misty was not. Dawn's enthusiasm was scary.

"First I say we need some actual food, not processed Lucky Charms, I can call a few friends and have them help move in some furniture, we're also going to need an actual fridge. Someone's going to have to clean this place up too, it may be empty but… well let's just make sure we don't have any more dead animals in here other than Misty's fish."

"Great plan," Iris replied, "Just give us jobs and we'll be good!"

The two looked at Misty expectantly,

"Yeah, yeah, fine. I'm on board," Misty caved, realizing that she had zero choice in the matter and them giving her the chance was just a courtesy for her to save face.

"Perfect!" Dawn cried happily, clapping her hands together, "Iris, you're in charge of the fridge. Misty, I'll give you a grocery list, please don't stray from it. I'll stay back and clean this place up and give a few friends a call."

* * *

It had been a while since Misty had been to an actual grocery store, she was however a regular at her neighborhood convenience store. She supposed there was some sort of irony in that seeing as she was in Uni on a swimming scholarship and she ate like a trucker. That was the life of a student though, no money, crap job, crap food, whatever.

Either way she forgot how… domestic grocery stores were. Cute couples in polo shirts with their 2.4 kids and screaming babies. What a pain in the ass.

She felt so out of place in places like this, what was she doing here buying organic food and expensive tofu. There was clearly something wrong with Dawn, but the girl did hand her two crisp hundred dollar bills to pay for all this. How this girl had that kind of money to throw around, Misty didn't really know, well she did in a way, but not anymore.

As she strolled through the aisles she picked up a few items along the way, her shopping cart wasn't too full, but it was getting there. She was about halfway through the list already, feeling accomplished she smiled to herself.

When she tilted her head up she saw something odd. Extremely odd.

There was a girl browsing the same aisle as her, she looked about the same age as well. Her hair was a light brown colour, and she had big doe like eyes that were very obviously blue.

That wasn't what was weird about her; it was her attire, and what she was doing.

She was wearing a gown, more specifically a beautiful wedding gown complete with a veil and all. The girl looked extremely out of place, like a fish out of water. Her faced looked like she was feeling just that, it was filled with uncertainty and confusion.

Misty watched the girl out of the corner of her eye, extremely curious, and also nosy but she ignored that part.

The girl pulled something from the shelf, a bag of Cheetos. She grinned manically; all previous nervousness erased from her face, then took a handful of Cheetos and stuffed it in her mouth. She ate happily, whipping the excess orange powder from her fingers to her dress and veil.

Holy shit this was abso-fucking-lutely hilarious.

Misty didn't know who this girl but she wanted to travel the world with her, or better yet, rope her into moving into the apartment.

Still watching the beauty that was this precious human, Misty pulled out her phone and called Iris.

"Hey," She greeted, "You are going to love our potential new roommate."

* * *

Misty had to admit, she felt like a bit of a spy or a stalker, she'd go with spy because otherwise she'd feel like a freak. Maybe she was, but this girl was going to be her friend. Of that Misty was certain.

She had just finished her Cheetos and paid the cashier for them, her one white dress was now scattered with cheese, even the veil had crumbs everywhere.

Now was her chance, Misty was going to talk to this girl.

Walking in what she thought was a confident strut, but was really quite awkward, she approached the girl.

"Hi!" Misty greeted with a grin.

The girl jumped with a shriek; obviously Misty should not have snuck up behind this girl. Honestly what the hell was she thinking?

"Shit, you scared me," The girl laughed breathlessly, hand on her chest. She wasn't having a heart attack was she? Misty mentally panicked, "Can I help you?"

Suddenly forgetting her purpose Misty sort of just stared at her.

"Uh, why are you staring?"

Misty gave her a disbelieving look, did she really not know?

"Oh. Wedding dress. Grocery store. Got it," The girl realized sheepishly.

"You aren't exactly conspicuous," Misty agreed, "You kinda seem lost… I was going to ask if you needed help… or something…"

More like ambush you and convince an unsuspecting girl into moving into her apartment filled with dead fish.

Yeah, what Misty said sounded much better than the truth.

"Well you're right about me being a little lost," The girl smiled, "I'm not from around here, I'm not really even sure what city I'm actually in if I'm being perfectly honest."

What an airhead.

Misty loved her.

"Well I can help you with that, you happen to be in the beautiful shithole people call Hearthome City."

"Oh… wow… yeah I'm way far from home."

"Do you need directions anywhere, say… a church?"

The girl looked at her quizzically.

"Come on, pull yourself together, you're in a wedding dress," Misty groaned, "Shouldn't you be… I don't know, getting married?"

"Nope."

The grin she wore was sickeningly sweet and slightly terrifying. Misty was sort of expecting an explanation to the odd attire but got none.

"Do you need directions home?"

"Actually I'd really appreciate a motel or something, I'm not planning on going home for some time."

And that's how you catch a bitch.

"Y'know, I'm actually looking for a roommate to stay at my place, it's open to you if you plan on sticking around for a while."

The girl clapped her hands in excitement,

"Yes!"

Misty couldn't help but think that this girl ought to be more cautious. She didn't voice these opinions of course because of two things, desperation, and the fact that Misty was not in fact dangerous and with this girl's naivety she was bound to run into trouble.

"Sweet, I'm Misty."

"May."

* * *

Misty was starting to get sick of the stares they were getting, well May was the on actually getting them, but it felt like Misty was too.

That wedding dress was really…

It took up the whole fucking sidewalk and really they just looked like a bunch of idiots.

"You're dress is huge, how are you even walking."

May laughed nervously and lifted the skirt revealing some disgusting ass sneakers.

"I was falling all over the place in those stupid heels so I traded them with a homeless guy on the streets. It was really nice of him."

Was this girl stupid?

Misty didn't realize that she said that out loud.

"Actually I was at the top of my class when I was in University. People were always shocked, I wonder why?"

Because you have the street smarts of a two year old! She wanted to shout this out but decided not to.

"Yeah… I wonder."

"Do you think that girl over there is OK?" May asked with a voice filled with concern.

Misty turned to see a girl, teenager most likely, rummaging through the back of the bakery they past's garbage.

May took it upon herself to approach the girl,

"Hi, my name's May,"

Where was this girl's sense? Didn't her parents tell her not to talk to strangers, must less tell them your name. May as well where a sign with her social security number and banking information.

The young girl's eyes widened fearfully and flinched when she heard saw May. Probably scared to get caught, Misty suspected the Cheeto covered ball gown also had something to do with it.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to stop or bother you, I just wanted to make sure you were OK?"

"Um, yeah I am. Please don't worry about me." The girl replied in a soft feminine voice.

Something in Misty's gut, maybe it was the sliver of humanity she had left, told her to help this girl.

"Hey, I'm Misty," She said as gently as she could (which wasn't really gentle at all), "How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

She was just a baby.

"Do you have a place to stay, somewhere safe?"

The dark blonde shook her head after a bit of hesitation.

Damn Misty's decency. They did only had four rooms… but…

"You can come and stay at our apartment, first few months free of rent. We could help you get a job or whatever? You graduated?"

The girl nodded.

"Do want to come."

After a moment the girl nodded adamantly.

The grin on May's face was absolutely blinding.

"You got a name?"

"Yeah... it's Serena."

And that was how Misty went from three other roommates, to no none whatsoever, to one too many.


	2. Misty meets a ton of boneheads...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn has some reaaaally odd friends, Misty hits the nail on the head, and Babies R Us is great for picking up guys.

Misty stood in front of the apartment complex with May and Serena by her side. It had been an awkward and interesting walk back to headquarters (as Misty called it in her head). Serena, bless her beautiful face, was pretty quiet and unsure, whereas May hadn't stopped her chatter. Really, it was a talent, an annoying one, but a talent none the less. Problem was, she hadn't let Misty get a word in so the two girls were walking in blind to what was in store for them.

Now was a time as good as any to explain a few things.

"So I already have two roommates right, and it's a four bedroom place. Before you ask I did not think this through whatsoever and no I have no idea how this is going to work with five people."

May put a finger to her chin,

"Wait aren't there five of us."

"Yes May."

"And only four bedrooms?"

"That is what I said."

"Then that means there's not enough room for all of us!" She cried out in realization.

"That's what I fucking said."

"Sorry."

Damn this girl had no clue.

Serena looked down at her hands nervously,

"If it's really too much trouble, I can just head out. Don't just feel bad for me or anything."

"Wow, you really are a martyr," Misty said rolling her eyes, "Seriously, you are going to live here because you are adorable and you will be blessed with the opportunity to live with four other girls who can get you fake IDs. This is the chance of a lifetime."

Serena seemed as if she wanted to say something but stayed silent, Misty took a mental note of this. Odd.

"So what are these other girls like?" May asked excitedly as Misty used the keys to open the door to the building.

"Uh, well there's one girl, she's condescending as shit but she probably would be fun to get drunk with. I plan to test that theory as soon as possible. She makes a good coffee too. I have a gut feeling that she could kill me with her bare hands if she really wanted to."

May appeared as chipper as ever and Serena appeared slightly alarmed.

"She's probably going to oppose the number of people here because she just seems like the arguing type, y'know just for shits and giggles."

"And the other girl?"

"A little  _too_  happy for my liking. Probably would blind you with her smile or something. She gets up way to early but she's skin and bones so I could definitely take her, but probably feel guilty about it later since she's so nice. I don't trust her."

"Why not?" Serena asked skeptically, "She sounds great."

"Anyone who would offer their ex as a roommate candidate is fishy in my books."

May and Serena nodded in agreement. Misty was glad they agreed on that due to the fact she felt like an asshole earlier when she said exes were scum. She wasn't surprised May agreed, she was wearing a wedding dress and was not on her way down the aisle. It was taking everything Misty had not to ask about it.

"Yeah some of her friends might be here bringing furniture because I don't own jack shit."

As if on cue they heard someone struggling at the bottom of the stairs, attempting to push a couch up the staircase. Misty couldn't quite see him as he was really putting his back into it.

"Hey you three!" He shouted, a little too obnoxiously for Misty's liking, "Give me a hand will you?"

"Um… I can't lift heavy things…" Serena whispered softly with a guilty expression on her face.

Misty raised her eyebrows, May shrugged, apparently not understanding Serena's meaning either.

"Hey! Are you listening to me, I'll fine you!"

Fine them? Fuck helping that asshole. 

"Just ignore him, he sucks."

"What if he's one of—" Serena began.

"He  _sucks._ " Misty reiterated, pulling the two of them up the stairs.

The three of them continued on, ignoring the yelling behind them. Serena protested but if she couldn't help then Misty didn't see why she needed to be volunteered in Serena's place.

They stopped at a door,

"Home sweet home," Misty deadpanned as she opened the door.

When she did she noticed a significant rise in population in her room. There stood the expected roommates Iris and Dawn, but joining them were two males. One looked like he was on crack or had one too many Red Bulls and the other looked like he was sitting at a conference about the history of the butter churning. Something boring like that because he looked like he was watching paint dry.

"Uh, hey," Misty said reluctantly, "Dawn who is in my apartment and why do I feel like Purple over here is going to choke me to death."

Purple referred to the male, not Iris. He had purple hair. Weirdo.

Dawn popped out from the kitchen with a big smile on her face and a spring in her step,

"Oh these are my friends, this is Kenny, we've known each other since kindergarten," She said gesturing to the shorter auburn haired boy, then turned to Mr. Sunshine, "This is Paul."

Misty waiting for further explanation.

"Paul?"

"Yes."

"And…?"

"He's Paul."

"Anything else?"

"Nope."

Misty raised an eyebrow.

Before anyone could say anything more someone burst through the door,

"You heartless wench, I'm going to fine you for not helping me!" A very tall, thin, blonde boy yelled as he pointed dramatically at Misty.

She narrowed her eyes in response, definitely not threatened or impressed,

"Shut the fuck up, who are you and why are you in my apartment."

"He's Barry," Dawn sighed, dragging the protesting boy away from Misty's face, "Just ignore him, he's always like this."

"Hey! I'll have you know—"

"Kenny, control your boyfriend," Dawn ordered in a no nonsense voice, then turned back to Misty, sunny demeanor back instantly, "I want to meet the new faces."

"This is Serena, and this is May," Misty volunteered.

"Ok am I going crazy or did you just say two names," Iris asked with a wary expression.

"Yes, as you can see there are two people," She replied with determination, "These two are our new roommates."

"Where the hell is one of us going to sleep? There may be four bedrooms but those rooms are smaller than Barry's balls." Iris groaned in frustration.

"Hey!"

"I haven't figured that out yet," Misty said flippantly, "But as of right now my name is on the lease so I can have anyone live here I please."

"Wait minute, is no one going to address why this chick is wearing a veil?" Kenny asked stupidly, pointing at May.

"Kenny," Iris said with gritted teeth, "Shut up and go help Barry with the damn couch outside."

The two males, obviously in fear of Iris's wrath, obeyed without question.

Misty suddenly had an idea, she swung around towards May and Serena,

"Are either of you lesbians?"

Both girls gave her an odd look.

"Relevance!?" Iris demanded.

"Well Dawn could share a room with one of them if they hit it off, I mean, they're both legal so it'd be perfect."

"Do you hear yourself? Besides, Dawn's dating Paul."

"Huh?"

"Am not!" Dawn yelled.

"Fine, she's screwing him, whatever."

Dawn did not argue with that accusation. Paul didn't seem to care either way. It didn't even look like he was paying attention. Why was he here again? He didn't seem to be helping or anything…

"Well… um… you agreed to May and…" Misty struggled to think up a reason why it was necessary that Serena live with them, "Serena's eighteen, homeless, and knocked up!"

Iris looked taken aback, and maybe a little sorry for her previous words.

Dawn looked both shocked and as if she was about to cry. Why? Misty had no idea.

May looked confused. Shocker.

Serena was giving Misty a look of both awe and embarrassment.

Paul looked bored as shit.

* * *

 

In the end no one had the heart to put May or Serena back outside, so Misty got her way. This pleased her greatly.

Of course Iris had instantly put the two of them to work Serena was putting away the groceries into their newly installed fridge and May was sent out to get herself an appropriate change of clothes for obvious reasons.

Misty was getting a headache. She thought Dawn was too chipper and happy, her friends very even worse. They did not understand the concept of indoor voices. Misty was so close to kicking them out, but then Barry mentioned he brought a bottle of wine as a house warming gift so she sort of felt obligated to be decent to him. The boyfriend (was that what he was?) was even weirder, he hadn't said a word and just looked down on everyone. Misty was surprised Dawn put up with him, even if it meant she got to hit that, his personality really did suck. 

Deciding that building a kitchen table was not her calling in this world, Misty abandoned her project and approached Serena.

The girl seemed super sweet. She was gorgeous too. Misty sort of felt proud of herself, if it wasn't for her Serena might have resorted to selling her beautiful body for a can of beans. If someone that looked like Serena came up and asked her if she wanted a good time, Misty would probably have to weigh the pros and cons. Damn, that girl was beautiful.

"Hey you," She greeted with a grin, "Need any help?"

Serena flinched, obviously not previously aware of Misty's presence,

"Um… no… thanks."

Well OK then.

After that brush off she wasn't quite sure what to say but luckily Serena spoke again, this time in a whisper,

"How did you know?"

Wha?

"Know what?"

"That I'm pregnant," She answered, face going bright red, "I didn't think I was showing."

Hold the fuck up.

"I'm sorry," Misty laughed nervously, "Could you repeat that, I could have sworn you just said that you were actually carrying a fucking child."

"I am."

Misty suddenly didn't feel well. This baby was having a baby. Now she was living with them. What was she going to do with the thing? If she kept it would Misty have to change its diapers? Where the hell was this girl's family? Who the hell knocked her up? How would she survive nine months without drink—

Oh.

"That's why you didn't look more excited when I told you I could get your underage ass some booze!" Misty cried, "It all makes sense now, you're carrying a sea monkey in your lady bits!"

Serena looked slightly horrified at Misty's word choice,

"I… thought you knew."

"Nope, just thought it was a good excuse to get them to let you stay."

"What were you going to tell your friends if I wasn't in fact pregnant?"

"The truth," Misty answered honestly, "I figured they'd get attached to you and be all adorable and motherly to you and then when they found out they wouldn't want to kick you out."

"Ironic. I'm supposed to be the mother in this situation."

"Yeah. What the hell? How far are you along?"

"Almost two months."

"You sure?"

"Down to the day."

Well then.

"Once all this shit calms down we are talking more about this, and as a group. We gotta figure something out."

Serena nodded solemnly, blue eyes earnest. Misty's heart sped up, seriously she was actually the most adorable creature on the planet.

* * *

 

Once Dawn's squad of weirdos had left the five girls gathered on their new and criminally comfortable couch set ready to have a calm discussion like the adults they were.

Who was Misty kidding? Definitely not herself.

Everyone seemed to be taking this whole situation completely differently. Iris looked stressed and exhausted, Dawn seemed hopeful and ready to help, May looked like she was more focused on getting food from the fridge than what was currently conspiring, Serena was pretty much sweating with nervousness.

And Misty?

She was freaking the hell out.

"So…" May began, everyone seemed surprised that she was the first one to speak on the subject, after all she didn't seem to grasp the situation very well, "Did you guys buy instant ramen?"

OK they were right, May had no clue what was going on.

"Sorry May," Dawn smiled sympathetically, but didn't look sorry about it at all, "I gave Misty clear instructions, no instant anything. Health food."

May made a scandalized expression and mumbled something about going out to the convenience store later. Oh and something about kill joys. Here here, Misty thought to herself.

"Let's get back on topic," Iris chastised, "We have a barely legal teenager here carrying a sacred vessel. What are we supposed to do?"

"Nice Juno reference," Misty snickered.

"That's not up to us right?" Dawn pointed out, "It's Serena's baby. That makes it her decision. Have you given it any thought?"

Serena shook her head,

"I'm not sure what to do; all I had planned was to run away. I didn't think ahead much."

"Man, I can't believe some asshole got you pregnant and you felt like you needed to run away. That guy is officially on my list of people I want to fight," Misty grumbled.

"It… well it didn't have to do with him as much as it did other factors. I just don't want him to know. This baby's father is a good guy," Serena insisted quietly.

"I'm sure he is," May smiled kindly as she patted the younger girl on the back comfortingly, "At least you have a place to stay now."

"That's right," Dawn agreed enthusiastically, "We're going to support you in whatever you choose."

"What are my options?"

"Well there's the one that's kind of the elephant in the room, which is abortion," Misty offered.

Dawn looked down at her lap uncomfortably.

"There's also adoption. And well the last one is, you keep it and raise the little squirt," Misty finished.

"That's kind of a big thing to…" Serena mumbled.

Iris finally spoke up,

"You guys can't be serious. How is she supposed to raise a baby? She's still a kid."

Serena began tearing up, obviously not a fan of tension.

"Hey Iris, shut up," Dawn snapped angrily, "This isn't your choice to make."

Wow. Kitty's got claws. Apparently Dawn's butthole didn't always emit sunshine and rainbows. Who knew?

"Look, if she wants to keep it, fine. But is it really the best thing for her to raise it here? I'm sorry but we're not exactly a reliable group of people. Misty can't stay sober for twenty minutes,"

"Hey!"

"You have the shadiest damn job in the world, to say nothing about your romantic history, we've got naïve little Maggie Carpenter over here, and I'm…"

Everyone was silent, unsure how to respond to Iris's argument also curious about what she was about to reveal about herself, but Iris trailed off and no beans were spilled.

"Who's Maggie Carpenter?" May whispered to Dawn, Misty almost snorted but it seemed inappropriate all things considered.

"Julia Roberts in  _The Runaway Bride_. She had a history of jilting men at the alter so I'm assuming that would be you Iris is referring to."

"Oh. That does kind of fit," May nodded, not embarrassed whatsoever. 

There was another silence.

"Y'know we could do it Iris. We could help Serena, if that is what she wants. Who else is going to help her?" Misty said in an uncharacteristically soft voice, "I mean, we just have to find a way. People have done it in worse situations."

"I'm going to get a job!" May announced, "If Serena wants to keep her baby, I'm going to help! Plus I'm super good with babies, I have a little brother. He's like eighteen but that's not the point, he was tiny at one time so I know... stuff."

"I get a huge pay where I work," Dawn added, "I've got more than enough to give her a hand. No need to worry!"

"I'm working too," Misty offered, "I've only got a couple classes at Uni this year so I'm not that busy either."

Everyone looked at Iris expectantly, the purple haired girl bit her lip but conceded,

"Fine, I know someone who can offer her an easy, no manual labor kind of job… if she wants."

Serena's face lit up brighter than a Christmas tree doused in flames.

"Then if it's OK with you all… I think I'm going to keep it, and if you'll have me… stay here for a while. Thanks so much."

Fuck yeah, Misty felt like an awesome person. Best roommate EVER.

If she did say so herself.

* * *

 

"Do any of you have school in the Fall?" Serena asked as they sat at their new kitchen table. Serena was apparently quite the chef and had made them all some sort of Italian dish. Misty hadn't caught the name since she was so focused on May's drooling face when Serena had said it.

"I do," Misty said, mouth full and probably covered in tomato sauce, not one her best looks, "I only have one class per semester though, then I'm all graduated. About damn time too."

"So you're… twenty two?"

"Turned twenty three like… almost a week ago."

Man she felt really old.

"Ah! We didn't get to celebrate your birthday!" Dawn cried out in disappointment.

Misty waved her off nonchalantly,

"I spent it with Iris, I was drunk off my ass all night. My spawn of Satan roommates chose that day to tell me they were packing up and leaving."

"Dicks." Iris commented.

"What about you Iris?" Serena asked sweetly, "What do you do?"

"I'm nineteen, not going to school, that's for sure," The short girl replied, "I work at a lame ass diner, kind of like the equivalent of Denny's but even more drunks at 2 am if you can believe that."

May gasped. What a square. Had she been locked up all her life or something? Misty wanted to get this girl wasted. That was probably not a good thing, she wanted to  _see_  this girl wasted. That sounded better.

"Dawn?"

"Oh, I'm in College for Art and Fashion Design. I'm starting my third and final year this Fall."

"Ah, you're almost done!" May said, clapping her hands together excitedly.

"What are your plans May?" Misty asked skeptically, out of all of them she was probably the most concerned and had the least faith in May. That was saying something too since Serena was a teenager, previously a runaway, and pregnant. She didn't even know about Dawn or Iris, but they seemed a little on the insane side as well.

"Looking for a job I guess," She shrugged.

"Any work experience?"

"No, never had a job before."

"Seriously, how old are you? How have you survived?"

May chuckled lightly,

"I'm twenty one. My parents put me through University and I graduated in the Spring so I guess this is the first time I'll be on my own."

That sort of explained a lot about May. It would explain even more if she told them she commuted and didn't like in the dorms. 

"That's perfect," Serena grinned, "We can look for jobs together."

"I called a friend of mine actually and he said he's got a job for you Serena." Iris announced.

"Wah? Already? That was pretty fast!" Misty was shocked at the little lady's efficiency.

"Yeah, his name is Cress. He's my boyfriend's brother. His family owns an Orchard about 15 minutes out of the city and he's running it currently. It's easy labor, nothing that would hurt the baby. You could water plants, do cash, put strawberries in little baskets, and stuff like that."

"That sounds really nice, thank you so much Iris!" Serena laughed.

May pouted.

"What about me?"

"Well, what degree do you have?"

"Bachelor of Fine Arts. I majored in Music."

"I'll ask around," Iris nodded.

"Hey May, you athletic at all?" Misty asked.

Instead of replying the brunette burst into laughter so hard and so long there were tears streaming down her face. It was like she was remembering some sort of inside joke because she was the only one laughing, everyone else at the table was straight faced, even Dawn.

"I'll take that as a no."

May wiped her eyes, huffing as she tried to calm down,

"Yeah… why do you ask?"

"I work at a gym nearby, thought I'd get you a job there but apparently that's not happening."

"Yeah no."

"Figured."

The conversation shifted towards Dawn and her boy toys. Misty may or may not have intentionally geared it that way.

What? She was curious. Anyone would be.

"So what's the story with your weird ass friends?" Misty asked.

"Remember how I said that Dawn's relationship with Zoey and Candice was the least complicated area of her life?" Iris replied. Dawn blushed furiously.

"Yeah?" 

"I wasn't kidding. Care to explain Dawn, or shall I?"

Dawn sighed deeply, seemly exhausted and not eager to continue the conversation,

"Fine, I've known Barry and Kenny for ages."

"You mentioned." Misty deadpanned, "Give me more, I need details."

"You really do have the patience of a Saint, don't you Misty?" Dawn griped sourly, quite uncharacteristic of her, "Kenny and I dated in high school."

May raised her eyebrow,

"Wait, aren't he and Barry together?"

"Well yes, but after Kenny and I broke up, Barry and I dated a while. Then… well they got together."

What the actual fuck?

Serena was absolutely enraptured by Dawn's story, Iris just seemed as though this was normal Dawn-like behaviour.

"Totally didn't see that curve ball, you have to be shitting me. How are you still friends with them?" Misty marveled.

"Well I love them both like brothers," Dawn explained, "I sort of realized after Zoey and I broke up two years ago that I was not meant for the whole dating thing. I mean, I love them all, but not… you know… romantically or whatever. Like I would never have married any of them, not a chance."

"I'm assuming Paul comes into this story somehow…" Misty groaned, "Please don't tell me that brick wall somehow swept you off your feet and the moment you looked into his blank, dead fish eyes you realized that it was meant to be and your whole outlook on life changed or some shit."

"Oh, he's just someone I know from work. We aren't dating."

"But I thought—" May began.

"Like I said earlier," Iris confirmed, "They have… an arrangement."

May gasped as if it was the most scandalous thing she'd ever heard. 

"Damn, I don't know how you stand him," Misty mused as she propped her chin on her hand, "Did he even say anything while he was here?"

"He did," Serena confirmed.

"What did he say?"

"Barry was talking about fining him or something along those lines and Paul told him to… shut the fuck up," Serena looked uncomfortable at the cursing. How cute! Misty couldn't blame Paul for his words either, after all she'd said the exact same thing to the skinny, blonde giant.

"Dawn he must be something amazing in the bedroom if you put up with him outside of it," Misty pouted, "I need something like that. Doesn't even have to be a boyfriend, just someone to y'know…"

May did not understand what she meant and inquired.

"For the love of— May, in one month's time, I will get all that homeschool kid slash weird sheltered kid syndrome out of your head and throw it the hell away in the trash."

* * *

 

Misty was way out of her element here.

She never thought she'd be where she currently was in her life… and in a Babies R Us. Y'know, unless she was in one of those idiotic, 'I didn't know I was pregnant' situations like on TLC. But that was highly unlikely as Misty's sex life was currently lacking and she wasn't that fucking stupid either.

Realizing she had no idea what she was doing she called over to May, who was in the other aisle doing whatever it was she did,

"May, what am I supposed to get? What do babies need?"

"Uhh… look for clothes, I've got Serena getting the crib, Iris getting the high chair, Dawn with the car seat, I'm looking for a changing table."

"How the hell are we paying for all this," Misty demanded, getting a lot of angry stares from mums who clearly didn't want her cursing in a baby store. Whatever.

"Dawn appears to be loaded I suppose," She shrugged.

"Clothing... does Serena know the gender?"

May laughed as if Misty was stupid, she frowned bitterly at this, May was not the sharpest of characters so she didn't think there was any room for judgment on her part.

"Silly, she won't know for at least a few more months, don't worry about gender. It doesn't matter right? They're just infants and they'll throw up on it then grow out of it anyways."

"Well said." Misty agreed before turning to search for the clothing section.

It was almost shocking how tiny some of the little outfits were, as the youngest child of her family she had little to no experience with babies or kids. In fact she couldn't actually recall holding a baby period, she liked the idea of them but just never came across the little tykes. She wouldn't lie, she was pretty excited about Serena's baby. Sure it wasn't perfect circumstances but it was sure as hell going to interesting. New experiences and all that.

She made an attempt to browse but had no clue what she was actually looking for. Definitely small stuff… but other than that...

What do babies even wear on a day to day basis? Misty could barely dress herself appropriately for occasions, let alone a baby.

As she contemplated this (very deeply she might add, as this was a very serious situation) she ended up bumping into someone.

"Ah, sorry!" The someone apologized, that someone was a boy, probably her age with an absurd amount of blue baby clothing in his arms.

Her pride didn't allow her to say sorry back so instead she snapped at him like the bitch she was,

"Watch it next time. Are you blind?"

The boy scratched his dark hair, definitely genuinely sorry, made Misty almost feel bad… almost.

"Crap, my bad, all my fault. I should be careful around people who are—"

He stopped when he noticed the venomous look on Misty's face.

"You want to continue that sentence you little shit?" She said in a low threatening voice.

"Ah! Hormones, I get it, I'll back off."

"Are saying what I think you're saying?!"

"Well aren't you…?"

"I am not pregnant!"

"Shit," The boy muttered, his eyes completely giving away his terror.

"What about you? Knock up some chick and now you're legally obligated to pay for her stuff?"

"What? No!" He cried, "This is for my mum."

Wow his mum must be pretty damn young considering this kid's age.

Misty glared at him,

"Oh, so it's compensation then. Because she has such an awful son you're making it up to her."

"Hey I'm nice, what are you even doing here if you aren't having a kid?"

"Getting crap for my friend."

"Oh."

"I really don't like you…"

"Feeling's mutual."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck  _you_."

"Do you want my phone number!?" Misty all but shouted, feeling oddly turned on by this yelling. Figures she'd get aroused by heated debate.

"Hell yeah I do!" He spat back with equal fervor.

"My name's Misty and I really want to kill you right now, what's your name!?"

"Ash, and I feel the same!"

"You wanna go to lunch later this week!?"

"YEAH!"

The two were quickly escorted out of the store due to their shouting and told never to come back. Misty left her friends to baby shop while she took this tall glass of water to get lunch.

Babies R Us is awesome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of these characters, well their personalities are a little exaggerated, mostly for humor purposes. Plus I want all of them to be really odd and colourful people. So yeah, May's a little dumb, Misty's a self proclaimed bitch (but really not), that kind of crap. 
> 
> Oh and I'm not trying to make Dawn out to be someone who sleeps around (not that that's bad, it's just not my intention for the character). I headcanon her to be bisexual demi-romantic (is that what it's called?), meaning she's sexually attracted to both genders but has to have a very deep emotional connection with someone to feel romantic feelings towards someone. 
> 
> Is there too much cursing for the rating I gave this story? I have no idea.
> 
> As for errors, I do my best with grammar but I'm not perfect. Let me know if there's any glaring mistakes.


	3. Misty can pry info out of anyone... almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash thinks the pain of children is funny, Dawn and Iris are bad liars, Serena is a beautiful person with awful name ideas, May spills beans in the most unhelpful way.

Misty didn't know what the hell she was thinking. Ash was an idiot of the rarest breed whom she'd known… maybe 6 hours and she was about to… introduce him to her damn friends and bring him to her humble abode. This could only go badly.

They'd gone to lunch and he was possibly one of the most disgusting eaters she'd ever seen (maybe May being the exception), still this didn't deter her. Ash was such an odd person and she needed to get to know him. To do what exactly? Maybe make out with his face, or punch it, or both.

In all seriousness Misty was on a friend kick and she was sort of on a roll what with all her new roommates and all. One more would not hurt. Bring 'em on. Being the kind of person that didn't really have friends as a kid, or at all really, Misty welcomed the company with open arms. When she thought about it that sounded really damn sad, it honestly wasn't. She was just a real brat as a kid.

If she was still being honest, Ash sort of pissed her off, but that wasn't an unusual reaction for her as she was pissed off by the general population. He was different though, not in a 'he was the exception and now my jaded ass must date him and he'll change me forever' kind of way.

Yeah, more like she was on the verge of killing him half the time and yet she had surprisingly not murdered him in cold blood.

"Yo Mist, where we headed?" Ash asked as they walked through some lame ass park that the city was probably required to have. Not enough trees or some shit.

"I think you're acting a little too familiar, giving me a nickname," Misty sniffed with crossed arms, "I don't fucking know you."

"Geez Mist," He snickered, completely ignoring her previous statement causing her eyes to narrow, "Just asking a question. Why are you so testy? Really, with a temper like that I have no reason not to believe you're pregnant."

"I can murder your ass, I hope you realize that. I'm an athlete."

"Yeah, I'm a police officer."

Well that wasn't fair. That was cheating.

"Aren't you young for that?"

"Not really, I just finished at the academy and this is my first month on the job. I'm awesome basically."

"You sound full of it."

"It's called being confident."

"Or full of it," Misty repeated, "And to answer your question, we're headed back to my place."

Ash froze in place, and looked like he was thinking waaaay to hard. It kind of seemed painful. How sad.

"Wait… I think I saw something like this on TV!" He realized, snapping his fingers as if a light bulb had lit over his head, "Ah! You're in love with me! Or… what's the word… turned on! You want to sleep with me!"

Misty raised her eyebrow disbelievingly. This boy had no filter. Just like her. It was much less annoying when it was her. How did he only know this shit from TV? The hell? Why was he smiling like a five year old boy? Did he really know what that meant? Because if he did he would not have such an innocent expression on his face.

"Wow, I'm surprised that a preschooler like you knows the concept of sex and arousal. Impressive," Misty marveled sarcastically, then reassured him, "Don't worry, I'm living with four other girls. I have no intentions of taking advantage of you since I sleep on the couch. It may or not may not be pretty if I try and jump your bones in the living room."

Ash looked confused, apparently not understanding what she was saying.

Groaning she muttered,

"I really need to introduce you to May, you two have a lot in common."

As they continued walking in the park on their way to her apartment a kid, only about seven fell off one of the benches.

Under his breath Ash whispered,

" _Get rekt._ "

Misty lost it after that, laughing so hard her stomach hurt.

That was her, deriving amusement at the pain of children.

Yeah.

* * *

"This is my place," Misty said to Ash, bowing in a joking manner, when she opened the door and saw what was transpiring in her living room she froze mid-bow.

What the frickity frack was going on?

"GIVE ME MY RAMEN BACK, DAUGHTER OF SATAN!" May screamed as she grabbed Dawn by her waist as the blue haired girl tried to stumble over the couch, but was stopped by May's newly acquired strength.

"I won't sacrifice your sodium and cholesterol levels," Dawn cried out dramatically keeping the cup noodles out of reach, her eyes steamy. Oh god was she crying? "Not even if you attack me, you can eat instant food over my dead body!"

May roared.

She fucking roared,

"I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO KILL YOU THEN!"

She then proceeded to attack Dawn, knocking her off the couch and to the ground. Dawn was no victim however, she fought back with equal fervor.

"Why can't we all get along!?" Serena wailed.

Misty sent Ash a frantic glance, the boy shrugged in an unhelpful manner. Typical man. Deciding to take matters into her own hands she burst in, taking note of the balled up and beautiful Serena, cowering in the corner and Iris, who was emerging on from her bedroom to the scene before her, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"Grab Dawn!" Misty shouted at her, and the two sprang into action.

May had been lying when she said she wasn't an athlete, Misty prided herself in being fairly strong person, but this girl was insanely strong. Maybe it was the food incentive but she was terrifying.

Iris of course had no trouble getting Little Miss Toothpick from the fight because Dawn was like air. That was probably a vegan thing.

Once everything calmed down the four of them lay on the ground, panting. It probably looked like something entirely different had just transpired. Serena seemed to have mustered up enough courage to leave her safe haven in the corner and join them.

"May, you are a monster. Do I need to sedate you?" Misty said as she gasped for air.

"No," The girl huffed, as if trying to laugh, but couldn't due to her lack of oxygen, "No, I'm good."

"And Dawn, do not provoke the beast. People will eat whatever the fuck they want."

Dawn pouted and bitterly threw the instant ramen with all her might at May's face (which was not all that mighty as she had the arm strength of a humming bird).

May giggled,

"Sorry Dawn, I don't think you're Satan's child. I'm kind of just serious about my food. Trust me, I love quality but every once in a while a girl needs to eat crap. Scientifically proven."

Misty was fairly sure that wasn't actually true.

"I unleashed the beast," Dawn snickered, looking quite proud of herself.

"Damn right you did," Iris grumbled, "I can't take one nap without being woken up by a bunch of idiots."

"Uh… hi," A voice said from the front door.

Oh yeah, Ash was still here. She'd totally forgotten. Oops.

"Ash?!" Iris cried.

Wait, Iris knew him?

Dawn sprung up at a frightening speed when she heard his name; she fucking hurdled the couch and practically tackled Ash to the floor.

"Dawn!" Ash shouted with equal enthusiasm, "What are you doing here?"

"I live here!" She sang, grinning so hard it looked like it hurt.

"Is he another one of her exes because if he is I swear…" Misty muttered. Seriously, this was getting out of hand.

Iris barked out a laugh, as she got up to greet the boy,

"Ash? He's denser than lead. What a kid."

"Yeah, I kinda got that impression," She admitted, then looked towards Serena expectantly, "What? You don't know him? I thought that was like a thing? Everyone seems to know who he is. Why don't you?"

The girl shook her head,

"I'm… sorry?"

Misty patted the girl's head hastily,

"It's OK, I just assumed. May?"

The girl shrugged,

"Never seen him."

"You two ruined it. Thanks a lot.

Serena smiled slightly, as if she found Misty amusing. Misty resented that.

"So Ash, why on earth did you barge into my new place?" Iris spoke as if a mother was scolding her child, "Still a child, when are you going to learn to behave?"

"Hey!" Ash protested, "Mist brought me here."

"The fuck did I say about the nickname?" Misty growled from the living room.

Dawn gasped,

"Wait… Misty were you going to bring him her to…"

"Lord no, apparently everyone thinks I'm going to take advantage of this poor little boy. I swear I just wanted to get some dinner."

"Oh, I thought Ash had finally hit his sexual awakening," Dawn was very disappointed by this, apparently Misty wasn't the only one who thought Ash hadn't hit the mental aspect of puberty.

"So you all are living together?" Ash questioned, "How do you know each other?"

"Misty is often plastered at the diner I work at," Iris offered.

"I didn't know Misty until I got here," Dawn added.

"She picked me and Serena up off the street!" May volunteered, raising her hand into the air like she was at elementary school.

Wow. Way to make her sound like a fucking psycho.

Ash didn't look phased at all, apparently not finding any of this odd. He hadn't even vaguely addressed the fight May and Dawn had been having. Nothing shook his smiling face, did it? Misty kind of wanted to see how many punches it took to wipe the smile of his face.

"How do you know Dawn and Iris?"

All of a sudden all three of them began sputtered utter nonsense and gibberish, each of them giving different a different origin of their acquaintance.

"Church!"

"High school!"

"Funeral!"

Misty was suspicious as hell and confused. How did they know each other from a funeral? And they went to church? There was nothing wrong with that but… well Iris did not strike her as the type.

"OK you bunch of liars, how 'bout telling me the truth."

Dawn replied, visibly dejected,

"I used to see him a lot at work. We'd hang out, us three."

"That was a lot less incriminating than I thought," Misty replied, disappointed, "You made it sound like you killed someone or met at a cult or something."

The three of them scratched their heads nervously.

She was not convinced.

Not even May was. That was saying something.

* * *

Somehow Ash had ended up staying for dinner. Serena had cooked like the beautiful tropical fish she was, and as usual her skills did not leave room for complaint.

The conversation was surprisingly lively and friendly. Misty hadn't sworn at anyone yet, May and Serena hadn't cried, Iris hadn't verbally berated anyone, and Dawn was just… Dawn.

This Ash person had a good effect on them. Not that the five girls didn't get along, they were just quite the characters and very dramatic. That generally led to some sort of situation.

"I'm so proud of you for graduating the Police Academy Ash!" Dawn smiled like a proud mother hen, "It's been a dream of yours for so long."

"Yeah, you'll never guess who my partner is at the precinct."

"Who?"

"Gary."

"Gary? Aw, I miss him, tell him I said hi."

"Who's Gary?" Serena asked.

"My best friend, we've known each other for ages. He's gotten me through so much and he's douchiest of the douches. No one likes him at the force so that's why he's stuck with the new guy, which would be me."

"He sounds… nice?" Serena commented with uncertainty, "Must be nice working with him."

"It is, he's a dick, but it's fun."

"That's Gary," Iris muttered at her plate of food.

Misty sensed a bit of bitterness in her tone, but didn't inquire further. She was curious but forced herself to wait until she actually knew Iris better.

"You didn't tell us how you know Misty," May pointed out.

"He and I got kicked out of Babies R Us today for arguing and flinging expletives at each other in loud voices. Didn't know who he was, just that he pissed me off immensely."

"Sounds about right," Iris nodded.

"Ash Reginald Ketchum," Dawn chided, "What were you doing in a Babies R Us? Am I going to be disappointed in you?"

"Naw," Ash brushed her off, "My Ma's pregnant."

"Delia's pregnant?" She squealed, "Is the daddy that guy she's been dating for a while… what was his name…"

"Yeah, they got married five months ago."

"Ash is going to be a big brother," Iris grinned, "Congrats, but I still don't understand how you two got kicked out of a store for babies."

"Hey, my anger was warranted. He thought I was pregnant and decided to comment on it," Misty insisted in an attempt to defend her honor.

"AH!" Ash burst out suddenly, causing the entire table to flinch in surprise. He then began babbling unintelligible words. Kind of like a mantra.

"Calm down bud," Misty muttered, "Use your words, sound them out."

"Y-you said that… your friend was pregnant!"

Serena looked away so innocently she may as well have been whistling.

"Yeah," Misty yawned, completely bored with whatever he was trying to say, "Good memory."

"Dawn!" He yelled suddenly.

"Yes!" The girl replied, shooting up from her chair and making a salute.

Where the hell did she get that energy?

"Is Paul the father?"

The table howled with laughter, except for Ash, who was looking quite lost mentally, and Serena whose face was practically purple with embarrassment. She was the guilty one after all.

"Iris! Cilan didn't! Did he?"

Deciding it was time to end this Misty grabbed Ash by the ear.

"The only child Paul will ever father would be a fucking gremlin. I don't know who Cilan is, but I can assure you, he did not 'do' it."

She almost laughed when she noticed Dawn did nothing to defend her… whatever he was.

"Then who's pregnant?" Ash cried out desperately.

May lifted her hands up in defense,

"According to Iris I am too dense to even know how babies are made so don't look at me."

This was true.

"Quit asking, asshole," Misty said through gritted teeth, determined not to upset Serena and her pure heart any further, "It's not your business."

Ash deflated and picked up his fork and slowly shoveled food in his mouth. He had the expression of someone whose dog just died.

"It's me," Serena spoke up.

"'Rena!" Misty whined, "I was trying to protect you."

"Well, he's a friend of Dawn and Iris; I'm guessing he'll come by again. He's bound to find out eventually, I mean it will be kind of hard to hide after a while."

Ash beamed,

"Congratulations!"

Serena smiled back sweetly and Misty almost melted at the adorableness of her face. The two began talking about his mum and Serena's pregnancy. It was a relief that Ash was really nice about all this, there were definitely guys out there who would be absolutely awful to Serena because of her situation.

She was really glad Ash wasn't one of them.

* * *

It had been a couple weeks since everyone had moved in and everything seemed to be finally settling down… not really settled down because everyone in that apartment was insane, but they were kinda used to each other now.

"So… what did you think of Joy?" She asked Serena as they walked out of the clinic.

"I liked her," Serena replied enthusiastically, "She was really nice and I felt really at ease with her. I think I could push out a baby if she helped me out."

"Good, I think so too. She's way better than that dickweed of a doctor at the stupid hospital."

"Yeah, I think a midwife is the way to go."

Misty was just glad that the girl was smiling again. The day had been spent trying to find a doctor for Serena and her baby. The one at the hospital had been an absolute nightmare. He was all judgey and shit about Serena's age and the fact that the father wasn't in the picture. Fucking prude. Who cares if the most precious human on the planet (Serena) wasn't thirty three years old and married with a career and a house and a dog or something? It's not like she could change it now. He was so sour and dismissive that Serena had almost cried. Jerkface M.D. had the nerve to say that Serena couldn't raise a kid.

It was at that point that Misty threatened bodily harm on the man and cussed him out. They left quickly after that.

That had put a damper on the mood, weren't pregnancy doctor appointments supposed to be happy? Apparently not all of them. It had taken a while but finally Misty stumbled upon a clinic of midwives.

The woman they got was an angel sent from heaven. Her name was Joy for Pete's sake, how could she be anything than a joy. Pun maybe intended.

"You excited?"

Serena bit back a huge smile and nodded,

"Mm!"

"What do you want? Boy? Girl? Any names?"

Serena touched her stomach tenderly, despite it still being flat as a board,

"I just want a healthy baby. Gender doesn't matter."

"Yeah, but if it's a boy he'll be born into a house full of estrogen. Feel sorry for the poor dude."

Serena giggled in an unbearably cute manner,

"He'll have a lot of pretty mums."

"Like Steven Universe."

"Huh?"

"Never mind, it doesn't matter that you haven't watched the world's most fulfilling and beautiful show ever, I still love you. Y'know Misty is a great name for a kid."

The younger girl didn't reply.

"Wah?! You're not even going to consider it?"

"Well… it would be confusing, right? Having two Mistys."

"Nice excuse…" Misty muttered as she unlocked Dawn's car and slipped into the front seat. That thing was a God sent. Dawn was the only one who was able to afford that kind of thing and she'd offered it to Serena to commute to her job and get around town. Dawn was weird as shit, but she was pretty cool when she wanted to be.

"I like French names," Serena blushed.

"Like Jean or Philippe?" Misty questioned, most definitely botching the accent.

"Yup."

"Any reason for that?"

"Um…"

"I swear, is the father French or something?" The expression on Serena's face was a good enough answer, "How sickeningly sweet."

Serena stared at her lap sadly.

"Hey, it suits you," Misty assured her.

"…Thanks."

* * *

They got back to the apartment after grabbing dinner only to find it empty except for a snoring May sprawled across the couch, chip bag on her stomach, hands still reaching inside even in a deep slumber.

"Ew," Misty said sticking her tongue out, "She's snoring."

Serena put a finger to her lips and Misty hushed her tone,

"She's in my bed. This is where I'm supposed to sleep. I may not have much, but this couch is my space. I'm snagging her bed tonight."

"Let's carry her to her room and get her into bed," Serena whispered, obviously taking the moral high ground in this situation, "And get her shoes off, I really wish she wouldn't wear them in the house."

Misty casually threw off her shoes to the side attempting to hide her shame. Serena thought she was an animal.

"Fine," She agreed, "But I have dibs on the rest of those chips."

They went to get the snoring monster off the couch but the second they attempted to make contact May shot up mid-snore, arms flailing, causing the two of them to fall back.

The chips also spilled on the floor. She was not vacuuming that up. No way.

"Who? Wha? hUh?" May mumbled groggily.

"Augh," Misty grumbled, "It even sleeps weird."

"Oh hey guys."

"Hey to you too, where's Iris and Dawn?"

"Uh… I think they went to work… maybe…? I fell asleep OK? I don't know!"

Serena smiled,

"It's fine, what were you—"

Before she could finish May's phone went off blasting 'So What' by P!nk. This apparently gave the girl quite a shock and she screamed and threw her phone across the room.

"May!" Misty shouted, "What the hell? Do you know how much that costs?"

"Sorry, I just…"

"Just what? That shit is shattered now."

"Sorry it's just… the ringtone."

OK, Misty was slightly lost at this point.

Serena snapped her fingers as if realizing something,

"Ah, it's him isn't it?"

May's face went beet red.

And all became clear.

"He's your Richard Gere! Your Ike Graham! Fuck yes, I have been waiting to grill you about this story ages so spill the beans Julia Roberts!"

May pouted,

"I really should see that movie so I can understand all these references."

"Come on, tell!" Serena urged eagerly, crossing her legs and putting her hands in her lap as if she was kindergarten, Misty mimicked her actions, reading for the tale.

"I didn't realize this was something everyone wanted to know."

"Bitch, I found you in a grocery store eating Cheetos in a wedding dress, of course everyone wants to know."

"Well, he was my middle school enemy," May began, not exactly where Misty thought this was going but she wasn't going to interrupt now that she was getting answers, "He was the most infuriating, stuck up, rude, jerk butt I'd ever met."

Jerk butt?

"Anyways he always mocked me during music class and I was determined to be better than him at everything because he was a little prat. He kept giving me roses, smug little cabbage patch kid."

"You realize he was flirting with you."

"Wha?! No!"

"He gave you roses you dolt, he was flirting."

"Whatever," She said, dismissing the thought and continuing, "This continued through high school. He would humiliate me at every chance, getting the role as my love interest in every school play, asking me to prom in the most outrageous ways, he even had the nerve to kiss me. He really had it in for me. Some sort of vendetta I guess."

Holy shit this guy was head over heels for her and May thought he was plotting against her or something. With May's perception, how did a wedding even factor into this?

"Then we went to uni and somehow by graduation I found myself with a ring around my finger about to get married to this guy."

"OK, I seriously think you're leaving out some crucial details. You loved him, right?" Serena demanded.

"I dunno. No one was surprised when it happened or anything. There were times he wasn't a completely awful person."

"Awe, May you loved him," Misty cooed.

"I most certainly did not!"

"I think she did, Serena?"

"Yup, she definitely did."

"OK, so I might have liked him a bit and he might have had a cute butt. That is hardly the point. It's all in the past."

"Does he think so? I mean he's still calling you."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to change my number."

"You should probably do that," Misty deadpanned, completely dumbfounded.

"So did he do something? Or did you? Who was jilted at the alter?" Serena asked excitedly.

"Him, I don't know I was walking towards him then all of a sudden my brain went crazy and I walked straight up to him, past him, and out the back door. I think I hitched a ride with the caterer and then took a bus and ended up here."

What a fucking journey this story was.

Serena looked shocked, Misty didn't know why though. The two were quite similar, avoiding previous shit and starting over and all that.

"I really don't know what to say to that story," Misty admitted, "But you're pretty awesome. That takes some real lady balls. I just have one question,"

"What?"

"How'd you know it was him calling, you didn't even check, just flung the damn phone at the wall."

"I have ringtones for each person in my contacts."

"Oh, then good song choice for that guy. What's ours?"

"Heh… Serena's is Mamma Mia."

Said person rolled her eyes, but laughed none the less.

"Oh! Your current one is 'Don't Worry, Be Happy', y'know cause the fish that sings it and you have like a million mounted on your wall." That was actually pretty clever, "I haven't picked Iris or Dawn's yet, I must learn more about their secrets first."

"Keep me posted May, you're an absolute riot."

 

I was filling out the plot more this week (really I should have had it all figured out before writing but I'm awful so I didn't) and I realized that although this is supposed to be funny... it kind of gets... heavy. Damn me and my inability to write upbeat and happy stories, must everyone have a tragic backstory!

Anyways, everyone has been super supportive about this story so thanks so much to everyone who's commented and all that junk. You are amazing~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter threeeee. A little on the short side, but whatever. I feel like this one is just not funny, I was not in a humorous mood while writing it so that may have had something to do with it. Man, it's been a really bad week.
> 
> Ash is a joy. He knows Dawn and Iris, but how? Oooo~ Seriously though, that won't be addressed for a little while. I'm writing a slight romance between Ash and Misty but it definitely will not be the focal point of the story. Ash is actually plot relevant other than being the prop for Misty to seduce.
> 
> I'm pretty sure you all know who the father of Serena's baby is. There's a lot behind it, but the basic idea is probably apparent.
> 
> So yeah, it's kind of obvious who May's ex is. Come on, the rose hint. A lot of people wanted me to elaborate on her story and I hope I didn't disappoint, there's more to it (obviously considering May is a horrible story teller, yes that was intentional) but that's for another chapter.


	4. Misty steals a bike and isn't sure if she slept with someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karma came and bit her in the ass.

Misty yawned as she unlocked her apartment door, pulling her chlorine soaked hair out of its ponytail. She had an early shift at the gym this morning and had to lifeguard and teach a class. It really did suck, but life guarding paid like she was a stripper.

At least now she was free to whatever the hell she wanted. Currently that consisted of a shower and ten hour nap on her beautiful couch. It was only about seven and everyone else would be sleeping for a good few hours more.

Then she saw the foreign shoes.

Her plans apparently were not to be as Dawn had company.

Usually that meant sex.

Joy.

The male sized, unfamiliar shoes at the foot of the door were taunting her. Mocking her about a multitude of shit. Mostly the fact that Misty had no sex life and on top of that she wouldn't be able to crash on her couch without listening to moans and disgusting noises like that. She would be a sleepless, loveless, redhead with crunchy pool hair. It was really depressing.

Damn Dawn and her beautiful hair, beautiful boy toys, and bubbly personality. It wasn't fair. God had a really mean sense of humor.

She dropped her gym bag at the front door; not giving a crap that she would get a lecture from Serena or Dawn, the clean police, about it later. And stumbled to her couch and sighed happily pulling off her sports bra feeling the cool air on her skin and slipping into a pair of incredibly comfortable pajama pants.

It felt really good. Maybe Misty would get lucky and Dawn was finished her fun for the night. It was wishful thinking in all honesty, that girl had stamina. It was sort of scary.

Just as she shut her eyes, ready for sleep to take her, the door to Dawn's room opened. Misty cracked an eye open, ready to shut it quickly if need be, meaning in case there was nakedness. Turns out she had nothing to fear. Out came a fully clothed, and fully pissed off Paul. Or maybe he was in a good mood, it was hard to tell with him.

"Hey Purple," She muttered tiredly, "Finished already?"

Paul grunted in response, skulking over to the coffee maker in the kitchen.

Misty still did not understand this guy, he hardly spoke and when he did he was a dick face. A thought came to her head. He was alone and she could corner him and get him to say… well anything would be cool. He was begging to be harassed.

Challenge fucking accepted.

Getting up from the couch she approached Paul and sat at the table.

Paul turned his head towards her, raised an eyebrow, but then went back to making coffee. She noticed he had taken out two cups.

What a fucking softie, he was making Dawn coffee. Misty held back a giggle and settled for a grin.

"Were you two working last night?" Misty asked casually.

Paul hummed in confirmation.

"You know, you should talk more cause I have no idea what the fuck you are or what the fuck you want. It's kind of unnerving actually."

Paul turned around leaning against the counter, he stared at her with his two black eyes and… wait why the hell did he have two black eyes.

"Sweet father Christmas!" Misty gasped, "Maybe you two need to calm down and be a little more gentle in bed. Dawn better not look anything like you do or I'll have to beat you up."

"It's not from… that." He said uncomfortably.

A full sentence. Misty was getting through to him. Definitely. On the road to being best friends basically.

"Well I hope this is one of those, 'you should see the other guy' situations, otherwise you really are pathetic. I'd feel sorry for you."

"I won," He said simply.

Misty grinned, giving him an enthusiastic thumbs up.

"How'd it happen?"

"…Bar fight… of sorts."

That was vague.

"Ah, I've had my fair share. So fucking fun," Misty sighed, reminiscing back to a few moments when she put some idiots in their place, drunk of course. Her fit physique meant she could throw around wasted, stiletto-clad twigs pretty easily. The added strength that alcohol gave her allowed her to beat up full grown men as well.

Maybe this was why she never made friends at parties.

Naw. People were just assholes.

Just as she was contemplating this the door opened to reveal a quite disheveled and tired Iris.

"Working late?" Misty asked.

"What the fuck Mist, put a shirt on!" Iris groaned in annoyance as she covered her face.

She looked down and sure enough she had forgotten she had removed her bra not ten minutes ago.

"Aw shit, that's awkward," Misty sighed, "Props to you Paul, you didn't look down once. Still, you could have said something."

He hummed in reply, not really paying attention.

Iris made her way to her room, keeping her face suspiciously turned from Misty as if she didn't want it seen.

That only made Misty want to see her face even more. Bad move Iris.

She waited for her opportunity and then mustered up whatever energy she had left and sprinted towards Iris, snatching her shoulders and turning her around.

"Holy Mother Mary," Misty breathed, "How did that happen?"

Iris had a huge bruise on her left cheek, it was actually disgusting, purple and yellow, puffy and all around not cute.

"Uh…" Iris said stupidly, looking everywhere but in Misty's eyes.

"Spill before I wake up fucking Serena."

Iris's brown eyes widened. Serena and her natural ability to worry and generally mother everyone was obviously not something Iris wanted right now. Misty was pretty proud of herself for coming up with such a dangerous threat.

"Fine! Get your boobs covered and I'll talk."

Misty threw a sweatshirt on and glared as intimidatingly as she could, in her peripheral vision she saw Paul attempting to re-enter Dawn's bedroom.

"Ah, ah, ah, Purple," Misty warned, "We've got to talk too."

Paul rolled his eyes but stopped.

"What is going on, Iris you were supposed to be at a diner and you come back looking like… seriously this is so weird it can't be coincidence."

Iris pursed her lips and looked down,

"It was an accident at work and—"

"She was at the same bar as me and got caught in the fight. It's not a big deal." Paul interjected.

Misty narrowed her eyes,

"I'm not buying it one bit but if you promise to shut up and stay quiet for the next four hours so I can get some damn sleep I'll drop it for now."

"Deal." The both said, so quickly it was obvious they had been lying earlier.

But Misty was too tired to argue right now, so they were off the hook.

For now.

* * *

It was already part way through August and she'd been living with this bunch of crazies for… oh Lord almost a month now. How any of them had survived was a mystery on par with Jack the Ripper. Maybe even more.

If Misty was being honest she really didn't know them all that well, sure she'd picked up on weird quirks each of them had. Like how Dawn was really OCD about the organization of coffee in the kitchen, or how May never wore matching socks and sometimes only wore one, or how Iris seemed to be able to sleep anywhere (seriously Misty found her sleeping in the dryer once), or how Serena sometimes unintentionally switched between English and French when she spoke.

Other than that, she was still at a loss about most of them. None of them talked about their families or theirs pasts, neither did Misty if she was being honest, so she couldn't exactly fault them for that. That didn't stop her from being curious and just generally a very nosy person.

As she pondered this her phone began buzzing in her pocket, checking the caller ID she saw that it was Ash.

They'd kept in touch since they'd met, he was a weirdo and she was too so they got on… y'know when they weren't at each other's throats.

"Fred's Crematorium, you ghost 'em, we'll roast 'em," She answered in as professional a voice she could force.

"Is that a threat?" Ash asked through his laughter.

"Only if it needs to be," Misty said ominously, "Why are you calling?"

"Just making sure we're still going to that movie next Tuesday."

Misty had completely forgotten she had promised him to go to this old film showing, normally she'd laugh and ask if he was desperate for her company, but he had reminded her and it was kind of embarrassing how quickly it had slipped her mind.

"Sure, sure," She replied casually, playing it off as if he was the weird one and she'd remembered everything, "I'm always down for throwing popcorn at old bags."

"Sweet! Do you mind if my step-brother comes along, he's staying with me this year, starting college and all. He's awesome, but I need to introduce him to some people."

"No problem, just make sure he knows I will most likely rip into him. I'm an asshole like that. Prepare the poor boy. Make sure he knows that I'm actually a nice person who would never actually mean what I say."

"But you're not, and you do."

"You know me so well."

Then an idea popped into her head. She was still bothered by Iris's caginess this morning and was dying to get answers. Ash knew Iris. Iris knew Ash. Therefor she could get answers from a third party. It was just simple logic. She was brilliant.

"Ash…" Misty began.

"What?"

"Can I ask you a couple questions about Dawn and Iris?"

"Uh… maybe you should just ask them."

"Why is everyone so damn secretive!?"

"Have you shared anything with them?"

"No, that doesn't count though," Misty protested, Ash's silence on the other end of the phone was extremely telling, it definitely counted, "Fine, don't talk. I have to go now. I have a ton of stuff to do because I'm a busy working woman who definitely doesn't need a man's company to thrive. I have so much to do!"

She canceled the call.

She had absolutely nothing to do.

Everyone else was out and Misty had severed her only source of conversation because she got a little annoyed. Nice fucking job.

Serena was at the orchard she worked at, Dawn was throwing a house warming party for Candice and Zoey (seriously it was so weird), May was interviewing for a job, what that job was Misty did not know nor care just so long as she paid the fucking rent at the end of the month. Iris was… on a date? Probably?

Never had Iris set eyes on 'the boyfriend'. All she knew was his name was Cilan and Serena worked for one of his brothers. Judging by Iris's personality the image of Cilan in Misty's head was quite clear. Long messy hair, probably wore a lot of flannel, climbed trees for fun, and was basically an animal. The female version of Iris actually.

Everyone was so secretive.

Then Misty remembered that there was a beautiful tool. God created the internet and gave it to the cavemen for a reason. That reason was to stalk people on facebook and other social media.

Dawn would be first. A girl like that definitely tweeted her life story and Instagramed her face. Girls like that just did that shit. It was science.

"Let's see… Dawn Berlitz…" Misty muttered to herself as she sat at her laptop and typed the name into the search bar.

Just as the page loaded the door opened and Serena emerged.

"Welcome home!" Misty called from the living room.

"Hey Misty, what are you up to?"

"Stalking Dawn's Instagram!"

"Ooo! Let me in on this," She giggled running up to the couch and plopping down close to Misty and staring intently at the screen.

Misty grinned proudly as if Serena was her child, this girl was perfect.

The two were not at all surprised by the content. Dawn posted selfies with friends (she kissed an alarming amount of her friends, Zoey, Candice, Kenny, and Barry included, maybe that was her weird way of showing affection), she had pictures of the skyline, beach, lame ass quotes. Basic as hell.

It was sadly lacking in any real personal information. She didn't have any pictures of people she worked with, Paul included. None of Ash, or Iris now that she thought about it. There were photos of Misty, Serena, and May, but no Iris. It was odd considering Dawn and Iris had been friends much longer compared to the others.

"That was sadly predictable," Serena deadpanned.

Misty had taught her the art of dryness so well. It almost brought a tear to her eye.

"What about May?" She replied, "She'd be interesting to see."

Turns out May had a twitter that she never used, not remotely incriminating. Nothing for Misty to sink her teeth into.

Her Instagram was filled with pictures of her food, places she wanted to travel, and about a million intentionally ugly selfies.

"Remind me to make that her contact photo," Misty said regarding a certain picture where May had about eight chins and buck teeth.

"I'm kind of bummed her Richard Gere isn't on here anywhere."

"I'll say, the only dude she's posted on here is with Shorty-Pants-Four-Eyes here. It's tagged #siblinglove so I'm assuming she didn't jilt _him_ at the altar."

"Let's try Iris," Serena decided, "She'd be interesting."

They tried but to no avail. Iris had a twitter that she'd never posted on. Misty was almost 100% sure that Dawn had set it up for her.

"What about you Misty? Are you on social media?" Serena asked as she typed the words, 'Misty Williams' into the Google search bar.

Misty shook her head,

"I think I had a MySpace when I was like thirteen but it's long gone. Praise the heavens. What about you? OH! Do you have any pictures of Paulie Bleaker?"

"Who?"

"Seriously, Juno is a popular movie, how am I the only one in this house who's seen it?" Misty groaned, deciding that she needed to head over to Walmart and snag it from the $5 movie bin, "I meant the guy who's watering can watered your flower."

"Oh… no I don't have pictures with him. He's camera shy. I have pictures with his sister, she's a good friend of mine," Serena pulled out her phone and scrolled through her pictures then turned it so Misty could see.

It was a picture of Serena with a younger girl with platinum blonde hair and a bright smile.

"Damn, if Mr. Bleaker looks anything like her you two will have a gorgeous kid with your gene pool," Misty marveled, "She know you're here?"

The younger girl sighed sadly,

"No, she probably hates me now. She set me and her brother up together and I abandoned both of them, without any explanation. We were best friends."

Misty rubbed the distressed girl's back in what she hoped was a comforting manner. She could relate to Serena's situation in a way as sad as it sounded.

"How could they hate the most adorable and loveable person ever? They'd understand. You did what you had to…" Misty trailed off, remembering some things in her own life she'd rather forget, "That's all you can do… don't apologize for that."

"Yeah, I guess so;" Serena mumbled quietly, "Me and Baby will be OK."

"You and Baby _will_ be alright," Misty replied as she bit her lip, hoping to God that it was true.

* * *

Her conversation with Serena had bothered her; it just resurfaced too many things that… well she'd pushed down. That was what she did; she pushed things away and covered it with a crass and rude bravado. Now things were coming back and it was really damn depressing. In fact Misty hadn't felt this down in a really long time, this is why feelings sucked. Maybe she should take a pointer or two from May and Dawn because they were always happy. It wasn't fair.

Serena had went to take a nap, apparently carrying a life form in your uterus was exhausting and it made you want to sleep all the time. Understandable. It did however mean that Misty was alone with her thoughts and when there weren't distractions around her, her mind tended to wander and dwell on events and people that were… well let's just say you wouldn't bring them up in polite conversation.

Apparently her mind had wandered so far when her phone buzzed it caused her to jump up and yelp in surprise.

Mumbling a string of curses she checked to see who it was.

Great.

"Hey Brocko. How's it hanging?" Misty greeted trying to force a carefree voice. She was so fake, it was kind of sad.

"Long, loose, and full of juice," A male voice replied seductively causing Misty to gag.

"God, I should have seen that coming. You disgust me; stop getting your responses from Urban Dictionary."

"You're just jealous of my mass appeal and proficiency with the opposite sex," Brock bragged with a snicker.

"You mean your proficiency at being a creepy fuck? Yeah, I give you that," Misty countered.

Brock was a childhood friend of hers; they'd known each other for a few years shy of two decades. He was notorious back home for being the biggest flirt within 100 miles. There was no one in town that had been untouched by his 'charm'. Naturally he was single. That was kind of a given what with that kind of reputation.

"You wound me Mist, here I am making a long distance call from Pewter City, which is costing me precious date money, and you're being a meanie," He whined, she could practically hear the pout on his lips.

"Wait, why are you calling? Get rejected again? Need advice?" She teased, but in reality he had called her for just that many times.

"Not from the girl who tackled her prom date into the pool and tried drowning him."

Oh yeah. That happened. It made her time spent at the damn event worth her while.

"You can't prove that was me."

"There are pictures."

Oh yeah.

"Well he deserved it."

"He said he enjoyed the occasional episode of The Kardashians."

"And?" She really didn't see his point, it justified it if you asked her.

"Never mind, I'm just calling to see how you're doing. Your best friend's been lonely."

"I haven't, I've got roommates," Misty boasted, mostly at the fact that he was lonely. She was such a nice friend.

"Did you learn all their names?" Brock gasped, "After two whole years? That Erika sure was beautiful."

"No they're new roommates sicko, and next time you visit you are forbidden from flirting. They are off limits."

"Why?" Brock protested.

"Because one is barely legal and carrying a child, one would kick your ass and also has a boyfriend, one is too dense to even notice so what the hell it the point. The last one will eat your heart out, but I highly doubt she'd pay you notice."

"Hey, I can cook. Girls like that."

"I didn't," She pointed out.

"Misty we dated for like three days, literally."

"Worst three days of my life."

"You punched me in the face."

"That part was admittedly good," She grinned.

"So…" Brock began, trailing off in a very telling way. It was the exact voice he used when they were kids and he had something he wanted to tell her but knew she'd be mad when he did.

Her heart sank.

She suddenly knew what this impromptu call was about.

"What… holy shit Brock did Daisy set you up to call me. You little whore, what did she promise you?" Misty demanded, forcing the tears pricking her eyes to go away.

"…It was actually Lily who promised me a date. Daisy's seeing someone."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, Tracey."

"You have to be shitting—wait you aren't getting out of this with juicy gossip from back home. What the hell are you doing?"

"They miss you Misty…"

"You didn't tell them where I am did you?"

"No, but they haven't let up since you left. That's almost five years. Don't you think it's time for you to come home already?"

"I… I can't," She replied, voice quiet and wavering. Brock didn't understand. She just couldn't… it wasn't going to happen. Going back meant…

"Daisy cries herself to sleep at night, y'know," Brock said softly.

Anger bubbled in her gut when she heard that.

"You know what Brock, fuck you. You have no right to make me feel guilty, just back off and worry about your own problems!" Misty burst out.

She was sick of people worrying and people trying to tell her how to live her life. She did not need a guilt trip, she'd been selfless her whole childhood, maybe it was time for her to do something selfish. No one seemed to want to allow her to have this though. Paying attention to herself? Heaven forbid. Worry about the family. It was all so familiar.

"When's the last time you drank?"

Angry tears blurred Misty's eyes,

"Are you kidding me? That is none of your business!"

"You know I mean well."

"Do I?" She shouted.

"You can't run away from reality forever Mist."

"Fucking watch me!"

Misty shut her phone off and slammed it against the table.

"Fucking watch me…"

* * *

"Oh you have got to be kidding me!" Iris growled in frustration as she grabbed a stumbling Misty's arm and lead her into the door way of the flat, "Dawn! Give me a hand here!"

Misty saw through her impaired vision two Dawn's approaching them.

"Jesus what happened to her?" The two Dawns said in unison.

"Drinking," Iris muttered, "Again."

"Hey, hey, hey," Misty slurred, words spilling out faster than her brain could process, "I wahsnt drunking."

"Are you speaking English?"

"Pip pip cheeroe mate!" Misty cried out and before she knew it she was lying down on the couch. How did she get here. Probably magic. Magic sucked. She never got to go to Hogwarts. Just another reason why her life was awful.

"How much did you drink?" Dawn asked in a worried voice.

Oh look, May was here. And Serena.

"Heh, I bet May's neveh had a drunk 'fore. Fuckinn square."

"How much did you drink?" Dawn demanded, more firm this time.

"So pushy…" She mumbled, getting extremely tired all of a sudden, "I lost count ah 11 beers. Had sum shots too."

Iris screamed from frustration,

"You are a mess. What the hell happened?"

"I stoled a kids bikacyle. Crushed it in a ditch somewer, I shit you not. Think I had sex... maybe? Yu tell meh."

"It's bicycle, not bikacyle you embarrassment."

"Iris, shouldn't we get her to throw up all that," Serena asked.

"NOoooooo!" Misty whined, throwing up suuuuuucked, "N—"

Her stomach gurgled and bile rose in her throat.

And she threw up.

"Haha! Guys I just fucking puked on myself!"

* * *

When Misty regained slight, fuzzy, consciousness she could barely open her eyes. They were stuck together with some form of eye gunk. When she finally opened her eyes slightly she saw a distorted version of their bathroom. She noticed her significant lack of clothing apart from her bra and knickers and the fact that the tub was running a comfortingly warm temperature of water.

There were two hands running through her hair soothingly, washing it thoroughly. Who it was? Well Misty wasn't sure, but it felt... so, so, nice.

"Hnn?"

"Are you awake?" A feminine voice asked calmly as she poured water over Misty's body.

"Not really?" Misty croaked, "Mum?"

The voice laughed melodically,

"Afraid not, just relax, you need a good cleaning. You had a rough night."

Misty had meant to reply but the alcohol in her system had other plans. She could already feel herself drifting off again, the gentle hands massaging her scalp putting her towards the edge of consciousness.

* * *

When Misty woke up again she was in a bed, wrapped up in a comforter, hair damp, and in a pair of pajamas that weren't hers. She was definitely still buzzed, but the sleep had sobered her up a bit and she was much more aware.

The room she was in was dark and quiet, until she heard a loud, ungraceful snort to her left. Looking in the direction on the floor Misty could make out the shape of May, sprawled out, conked out, and breathing heavily. Misty couldn't help smiling at the scene before her, despite it's universal unappealing nature, it was almost endearing. That was definitely the booze talking.

"Returned to the world?" Another voice spoke up from Misty's other side.

Turning around Misty noticed she had a bedmate. Serena.

"Where am I?"

"Your couch was a little... gross," She explained in a whisper, "So after I cleaned you up, May and I settled you in my room for the night. You don't mind, do you?"

"'Course not, that's actually really nice of you. But why is May on the floor?"

"She insisted she stay to keep an eye on you."

"She's doing an awesome job," Misty muttered sarcastically.

Serena smiled lightly, but a concerned look quickly overtook her face,

"Are... you OK?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You were crying when I was washing your hair. You said some things, things I didn't understand, but you were... devastated."

Misty was at a loss for words, she didn't recall crying, and she didn't have an explanation, not a willing one at least.

"I... I'll be OK, eventually."

"You should talk about it," Serena sighed, "It's not healthy to keep things in."

"Please don't make me, one day maybe, just not today. Just keep being all motherly and shit. You're going to be a great mum."

"One of us has to be in this home," Serena blushed, "You all are completely hopeless."

"Yeah, you just had to bathe me. That's a new low for me."

"Do you... need a hug or something. People tell me I give good hugs."

What an angel.

"If you wouldn't mind."

Serena reached her arms out and wrapped them around Misty, she placed a kiss on her cheek. Misty laughed and planted one on Serena's forehead.

"Are we kissing each other? Is that a thing? Cause I just saw ki~sses!" May asked excitedly, scaring the both of them out of their wits, "That's right, I'm awake now! Gimme kisses! Now! May is starved of love!"

The brunette jumped on the bed, showering kisses on the two of them. The three of them ended up in a fit of giggles, May crushing the both of them with her immense love and less immense body. She pecked the two on the lips lightly and got up.

"Have a good sleepover," She said in a much quieter voice, "Hope you feel better in the morning."

As May was getting up Dawn walked in curiously,

"What's going on? I heard the noise of public displays of affection among this sisterhood."

"Your ears heard right," May sang, regaining her voice's loud volume as she placed three kisses on Dawn's face, the cheek, the eyelid, and the forehead.

"Let's ambush Iris," Dawn grinned wickedly when May had finished.

"Right behind you," May snickered as the two scrambled out the door.

Serena and Misty shared amused glances as they heard a moment of silence and then Iris's protests that were not very convincing because she was laughing historically.

"By the way, you kept repeating 'Fuck Dumbledore' while you were drunk. Why?"

"It's probably best not to think about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friends should kiss more. Why isn't that a thing where I live?
> 
> Misty's vision of Cilan is 100% accurate.
> 
> This one I am not very happy with. I don't know exactly why, I don't think I was very funny. I haven't been feeling very funny lately, more sad. Maybe that's why this chapter was kind of sad, reasons why soon.
> 
> Oh next chapter, that entire first scene will be explained.
> 
> Thanks to everyone supporting this story. I'll update again after I update The Games We Play.


	5. Misty meets a mad scientist and goes to an illegal place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash's step brother blows up a door, Misty meets Cilan, May quotes Karate Kid

Misty had to admit when Ash said he had to stay back home and cancel their movie plans she almost murdered him. When he told her it was because his step brother had almost blown up his apartment she was ready to go over there and kill both of them… after she heard the story of how it happened. She was a simple girl with simple interests… like explosions and chaos.

So naturally Misty bolted to Ash's apartment (or took Dawn's car but whatever) and burst through the door.

He hadn't been exaggerating. One of the two bedroom doors had been blown clean off, soot stained the frame where it once stood, and everything was a mess.

Ash was lying on the ground, face down, looking quite defeated. There was a blond boy nudging him and apologizing in a very annoying fashion.

"Yo Four Eyes!" Misty barked, "The fuck is going on here?"

The boy flinched violently (which was sort of satisfying because Misty liked to know she could put the fear of God in the hearts of both boys and men alike) and straightened up, adjusting his spectacles.

"Ah!" He cried, "This isn't what it looks like!"

Misty raised her eyebrow; she wasn't exactly sure what it looked like. Could be a number things actually. It could look like murder… y'know cause Ash sort of resembled a dead body. It could be a fire. It could be some weird kinky sex gone wrong, Misty had watched _Sex Sent Me To The ER_ , it was definitely a possibility.

"I know you're the little brother, who's not really a brother that is the reason I'm not at some black and white film thingy. You ruined my plans because you set a damn bomb off or something. Now please kindly explain to me what happen, also is Ash conscious?"

She heard a groan from the raven haired boy's limp body,

"Hey, Mist…"

"You OK down there?"

"No…"

"OK good," She concluded brazenly, then turned to the other boy, "Spill please."

"I-I was just working on an… experiment."

"Mad scientist?"

"No!"

Ash raised his hand up in protest,

"Definitely a mad scientist."

"Come on man," The boy blushed.

"Your name?"

"Clemont."

"Misty."

"Nice to meet you," He said, holding a hand out.

Misty shook her head, refusing to take it,

"You could be contaminated bud, keep that hand away from me."

"Fair enough, you're the girl that Ash said pretended to be mean but was really actually a softie!" He realized tapping his fist in his palm.

"Wow, fuck you Ash," Misty scowled.

"Only if you want to," Ash muttered in a rare moment of social awareness.

"How forward," Misty sniffed, pretending to be disgusted but really she was pretty amused, "You talk to your mother with that mouth?"

"Do you?"

Misty instantly stopped the banter, suddenly not in the mood. There was an awkward silence. Ash was just lying there, Clemont obviously sensed something had bothered Misty, and Misty was not about to be the next person to speak. Then someone else came through the door.

A pompous looking guy with auburn hair that defied the laws of science and gravity yelled out,

"Hey shithead! Get off the floor Ashy boy! I heard there was an explosion and I had to see for myself."

Augh, what an annoying guy. Would it be appropriate to punch his face upon meeting him? Probably not. She'd done it before, but that had ended up with her spending a night in jail. Brock had bailed her out… both times.

"Hey Asswipe, get the hell out of my apartment," Ash groaned as he slowly rose from the ground.

"Clemont," The guy nodded in greeting, then turned to Misty, "Hey beautiful, want to get out of here and get nasty?"

"To the graveyard? Yeah, cause I will fucking cut you, then put you six feet under," She hissed.

"Yeowch, Ashy, this one's a keeper. I hope you're hitting that."

"I would never hit a woman," Ash replied with a befuddled look on his face. Misty mentally face palmed, he had been doing so well.

"Sorry for teasing, you must be Misty, I'm Gary, Ash has said much in regards to you."

"Has he?" Misty was intrigued, she tried not to think about it too much but despite how much she hated Ash, she didn't really hate him at all. Oh to hell with it, she had a minor crush. What was this, middle school?

"Yup," Clemont chimed in, "He talks about you a lot."

"Shut up man," Ash mumbled, "Her head will get too big…"

"No, go on Clemont," She chided, very eager to hear her name praised, "My head's fine."

"He talked a lot about how pretty you were, how you were really funny. I personally deduced that he likes you, particularly after he went on for over ten minutes about your hair."

"Clemont!"

"He also says it turns him on when you hit him," Gary added.

"Masochist?" Misty questioned.

"No!" Ash insisted, "I did not say the last part!"

"But you admit to everything else?" Gary taunted.

Ash scowled but didn't reply.

"It's OK Ash," Misty smiled, "Not many people can resist the pheromones my body naturally produces, I'm just beautiful and an all-around catch."

"Scientifically—" Clemont began, but was soon interrupted by Ash,

"Please don't go all smart on me."

"So you're Gary," Misty realized, ignoring whatever brotherly argument was about to ensue,"You're Ash's partner."

"Ew, don't say it like that. Ash wishes he could have access to this sexual body, but yes, in a professional sense we are partners, y'know cause we're cops. I'm flattered Ash told you about me."

"You came up in conversation, with mixed reactions."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Dawn says hi, and Iris doesn't like you."

"Ah, Marla and Tyler, I forgot Ash mentioned they were living with you."

"Excuse me?"

"Y'know, Marla and Tyler."

"Yes I understand who you're referring to, but why?"

"Oh shit," Gary snickered, "Ash never told you?"

"No, but I have a feeling he's about to," Misty growled.

* * *

"I cannot believe you two were part of a fight club!" Misty cried out, "This is insane! You two are cops!"

Yeah, that was what the whole deal was. Gary had told her that he, Ash, Iris, and Dawn were part of a fight club. Misty had thought their secret was they killed someone in high school and took a blood oath, y'know, normal teenager stuff, not this shit. This was messed up. Sometimes Misty felt like her life right now was a sitcom and this was just _one_ more thing to throw at her that was so farfetched it was almost funny.

So she dragged the two out of Ash's place, leaving a very confused Clemont to clean up whatever mess he'd made, and forced them to explain whatever the hell was going on.

"That's why I said former," Gary laughed, "We were kids. Plus it's not a fight club, there's just caged fights that people place bets on at that specific location. There's also a hell of a lot of drinking, gambling, and weird other stuff go down there. Fighting is just one of the elements that make that place what it is."

"Yeah, it's been like ages since I fought there!" Ash assured her.

"Ash, you said that you quit like… a year and a half ago!" She protested.

"Ages." He confirmed with a smile. A smile full of ignorance and bliss, as if eighteen months was a lifetime.

"Where exactly are you driving us?" Gary asked, "You are making some terrible left turns by the way."

"Shut up," Misty snapped, "I'm picking up May and you two are going to take me to a fight!"

"Uh, I don't think so princess," Gary replied, shaking his head, "That place in dangerous and you need to say as far away from it as possible."

"Call me princess again in that condescending tone and I behead you like a real princess would. Take me to a fight or I'm calling the cops on you."

"We are the cops."

"Exactly."

"Damn Ash, your girlfriend fights dirty."

"Damn right I do."

"You didn't deny being his girlfriend."

"I'm driving, I don't freaking care."

"You just ran through a red light!"

"Quit whining, now do either of you know where Iris's boyfriend's restaurant is?"

"The hell why?"

* * *

The first thing Misty thought when she saw the restaurant was a string of confused curses. The place looked way fancy. Her image of Iris's boyfriend was… well not exactly fitting to this establishment, which Cilan apparently owned. She'd pictured like... a nasty fast food place not The Ritz.

"Weird…" Misty mused quietly to herself while Gary gave Ash a questioning look. The boy answered with a shrug, "Anyone coming in with me?"

"Nope," Ash said with a firm shake of his head, "If Cilan sees me with Gary and we're off somewhere we won't tell him about and he's the least bit suspicious, I'm screwed."

"Elaborate," Misty prodded, losing her patience.

"Cilan doesn't know Iris is still into that crowd, he knows that Gary and I used to and he think she quit along with us."

"Fair enough, I won't mention any names. Just introduce myself as Iris's flatmate. Simple."

Gary gave her a thumbs up that was definitely not rude or sarcastic at all and said,

"Hurry it up, we'll be late."

"Unbelievable."

Misty walked in and instantly felt under dressed. In fact, she felt like a hobo compared to the standards and appearances of the restaurant and its customers. All these assholes were dressed in Dolce and Banana or some shit while Misty was like, 'hey look at my bright fucking red lifeguard shirt, need CPR? I can give it to you if you choke of your frog legs or whatever fancy food you're eating.'

Whatever, Misty had never cared about manners so she wasn't about to start now. She pushed her way through the lineup of people probably waiting for their reservation at a table that cost them five thousand freaking dollars. Or something.

Either way, she pushed through them, some fell because of their insensible heels, or maybe Misty was just strong. She made her way up to the host and slammed her forearm on the surface covered in menus and junk.

"Get me Cilan."

It just crossed her mind that she was sort of acting and talking like a mob boss. The fight club idea really was getting to her.

"Uh… ma'am… I don't…"

"Get. Me. Cilan. Or. Let. Me. The. Hell. In."

"O-OK! Just go on ahead."

"Thanks!" She grinned happily, aura completely changing as she made her way further into the restaurant.s

A beautiful voice filled the rooms; apparently this place was classy enough to get a decent vocalist for live music. She didn't recognize the song, most likely because it was a ballad and Misty only listened to trashy music (at least she owned up to it).

As she walked around she ignored the snotty glares of whatever stuck up prick was eating as she searched for Cilan, or May.

May had gotten a job here a while back, Misty assumed she was a server but hadn't seen her yet. That was Misty's purpose here; she needed someone she knew to come with her to a fight, and May was the only option. Normally she wouldn't take the airhead and would have brought Iris, oh wait that was kind of a problem seeing as Iris was the fighter. So yeah, May was her last option.

Suddenly she turned the corner and saw the source of the singing.

Holy mother of cheese nuggets, that voice was May. She sounded like an angel. What the shit? She could sing? She did recall her saying something about majoring in music... maybe?

"Hey May!" Misty called at a noise level that was definitely not for indoors, "Get your ass over here I need to talk to you."

The brunette's eyes instantly widened, completely unsure as to what to do.

Misty began willing May with her mind to get off the stage and come to her.

Giving in she finished her song and quietly walked towards Misty, hell yeah she totally had psychic powers. Fuck Dumbledore.

"Uh… I'm really glad to see you but… why are you here?"

"Because I just found out some shit about Dawn and Iris and I need someone to come with me."

"What about Serena, I'm in the middle of work," May whined.

"Don't use that tone with me young lady, and by the way missy your voice was obviously given to you after you sold your soul to the devil, because it is bomb.." Misty replied, May opened her mouth to speak but Misty kept going, "And I can't take a pregnant eighteen year old to a goddamn fight club. I may not make good decisions but even you can see why I can't do that."

"What's a fight club?"

"Y'know Brad Pitt and the soap thingy."

"I'm lost."

"I swear this entire friend group needs to have a movie marathon just so you can understand all my shitty references."

"May?" Another voice spoke out, "Why'd you stop? Is something wrong?"

She turned around and saw a tall, thin, snappily dressed man. His hair was a pale greenish colour (OK?) and slicked back neatly.

"Oh, this is Misty, my roommate," May explained hastily, "Misty this is Cilan, one of the restaurant owners. Y'know, Iris's boyfriend."

"Holy balls you are not what I pictured," Misty said with a shake of her head, Cilan looked embarrassed by the language but he was dating Iris so cussing should really not be a shock to him, "I need to borrow May for the night."

"She's not off for another two hours."

"This is about Ir—" May started but was interrupted quickly because that girl could not read a situation and Misty had to save this somehow.

"Do you want a pregnant teenager to die?! Do you?! Huh?! My friend needs to go to the hospital and May needs to be there to support her! You are an awful human being! Even Iris's boss gave her the evening off! You sack of shit! Cut her some slack!"

May's eyes flashed in alarm and Cilan instantly backed down when Misty pushed him.

"Alright, alright," He conceded, "Just make sure your friend's alright."

He then made his exit with his tail between his legs and Misty smirked triumphantly,

"Too easy, now come on, Gary and Ash are waiting."

"Who's Gary?"

* * *

Misty had parked Dawn's car a few blocks from where they were supposedly headed. Gary and Ash were now leading them to their destination.

"So is the point where you give me some soap or something?" Misty joked.

"Uh…" Ash fumbled through his backpack, "I have hand sanitizer? Does that work?"

"Calm down Ash," Misty said, shaking her head, "It was a joke."

"All jokes aside, I want to go over a few ground rules before we do get in," Gary cut in, sounding too serious for Misty's liking, "Do not under any circumstances interrupt anything that's going on, especially the fights, if you want to be stabbed or shot, feel free, not my problem."

May stuck out her lower lip,

"Lame."

Misty snorted, finding it hilarious that her only response to being killed was 'lame'.

"I totally agree, it is lame," Ash nodded solemnly as he led them down the outdoor stairs of a sketchy looking building down into a basement-like warehouse. Misty was kind of getting giddy, this is exactly how she pictured this, like movies. Fuck yeah.

Ash knocked on the door in a concentrated pattern and a peephole slid open,

"Password?"

"Come on Georgia, you know who I am."

The door opened then revealing a girl with bright pink short hair, and a scowl on her face,

"Didn't think you two'd show your ugly mugs around here again."

"Uh… just for old times' sake," Ash laughed sheepishly.

"Fine, try and convince Dragon Girl to leave with you will ya?"

"That's what these ladies are here for," Gary explained.

"Mother Chucker, never a pleasure," Georgia sneered.

"Kick Ice, door duty? Have you fallen that low?"

"Volunteered you asshat, just come in already," The girl grumbled.

Misty already liked this place; they walked in, poor May looked like a fish out of water. That was to be expected. This room was filled with smoke, dark lighting, drinking, drugs, awful language (and this was _Misty_ talking, the queen of cussing) and people just being dicks.

"What was up with that chick?" Misty asked Ash as they got a seat at the bar.

"Georgia's always been a bit of a grouch, don't mind her, she just hates me 'cause I'm friends with Iris," Ash chuckled.

"What was with the code names," May asked excitedly, "Are you guys spies? Is this what this is all about?"

Misty face palmed,

"May this is a fight club not the FBI, although admittedly from what I've seen they probably should be here, this shit is so not legal."

"That's why I got out," Ash said wistfully, "And the names, they're like our… fighter names I guess."

"They really do sound lame. Any reason behind them?" May teased.

A guy with sandy blonde hair approached them before May got her answer,

"Didn't think I'd see you two back here again," He said in a bored voice, "Back from the boonies I see."

"I think you're forgetting how many times Ashy Boy here kicked your ass Tristan, I never got the chance but we can go out in the alley and take care of that," Gary said confidently.

Oh my God. This was really happening. Like a movie.

"It's Trip you asshole, just here to see if any of you wanted to place bets on the fight tonight, or are Mother Chucker and Thunderbolt going to drop gloves tonight for old time's sake?"

"No, wouldn't want to cause too much excitement," Gary replied flippantly, to which Ash added, "No bets tonight, we're here to see Iris."

"Well she's up soon," Trip informed them before leaving, "Later."

"What a dick," Misty remarked.

"Trip's not that bad," Ash laughed.

"Thunderbolt, really? That's your fight name?"

"It was that or Discharge."

"That is fucking disgusting, congratulations on your choice. Thunderbolt is a great stage name," Misty said sincerely, patting Ash on the back.

Before Ash could respond Misty heard a shriek, she and May turned to see Dawn behind the bar appearing like she had been mixing a drink but judging by her shocked expression and frozen position she was stopped in her tracks.

"Close your mouth Dawn," Misty sniffed, not impressed at all, "You'll catch flies… or whatever other toxic shit is in the air here, like an STD."

"W-Wha?" Dawn stumbled before her eyes fired up and she began yelling at Ash, "What were you thinking Ash! I thought it was crystal clear that you weren't going to say anything! That's the whole thing, y'know, 'The first rule of fight club!'"

"Finally someone understands movie references!" Misty cried, throwing her arms towards Dawn.

"Not helping Misty, what are you two even doing here?"

"Some dude with spikey hair spilled the beans apparently," May said flippantly, forgetting Gary's name.

"Y-yeah!" Ash agreed, grabbing on to May's excuse, "It was Gary who told them, then Misty bullied me into taking her here!"

"Although I wouldn't put it past Misty or Gary, don't think you can weasel your way out of this," Dawn warned him.

"But Dawn… what are you doing here?" May asked innocently.

She pouted sadly,

"I just work here doing odd jobs, tonight that job is bartending. It pays well so…"

"Ah, that's how you're so damn rich," Misty realized. The puzzle pieces were starting to put themselves together.

"Not rich, just well off."

"That's what rich people say."

"Well, now that you know I guess I'll take my break and let you guys in on what's going on. Plus I think I want to make Gary hurt."

The man in question looked slightly fearful.

"Dawn vengeful," May marveled, "It's almost scary."

"I like this side of you," Misty grinned evilly, "Have I had a good influence on you?"

Dawn rolled her eyes before she got out from behind the bar.

They had settled down at an unoccupied table, and after Gary got a good chewing out from Dawn they settled into decent conversation.

"So, I was just asking Ash about the stupid ass names you guys give each other, mind explaining? What is 'Kick Ice' supposed to mean?"

"Oh, Kick Ice is Georgia's stage name, she's known for her less than warm personality and you know the saying kick ass right? That's where it came from. Mother Chucker is Gary. Mostly because when he was fighting here he had a bit of a reputation for being a manwhore, as well as someone who could chuck you around. Ash was Thunderbolt cause he was quick and to the point, unpredictable. Yeah, they sound stupid but they aren't exactly a creative bunch around here if you know what I mean," Dawn explained, "I wasn't here when Gary and Ash joined; I started working here maybe four or five years ago."

"How does a nice, decent, sunshine out of your ass kind of person like you end up working here?" Misty questioned, "And don't you get assaulted and bothered on a nightly basis? This isn't safe, and that's coming from me."

Gary interjected,

"Not when she's dating," Dawn coughed irritably, "Sorry, not dating, having relations with him," Gary corrected himself as he jerked his finger towards a man wrapping his forearm near the fighting ring where everyone was gathering.

Well slit Misty's throat and call her Grandma, that was Paul.

That fucker.

Bar fight her ass.

She was slightly impressed, or super impressed, whatever.

"So Pauline over there protects you huh?" Misty teased, "Careful, he might not just be banging you for your looks."

Dawn scoffed,

"As if, Paul is just a co-worker, I don't date."

"Yeah, yeah," Misty said disbelievingly, no one else on the table looked like they believed her either, even May, "So when does Iris show up?"

"She's fighting Paul tonight," Dawn explained, "They're both sort of veterans here and their fights are super popular."

"How the hell did I not see this coming," Misty sighed, recalling the early morning she'd caught both Iris and Paul beaten to a pulp, "It was so damn obvious."

"Because you're dumb?" Ash suggested, earning a punch in the arm from Misty.

"You aren't exactly the brightest buddy."

"Don't feel bad Mist," May assured her, "I had _noooo_ idea!"

"Coming from you May, that is in no way comforting."

Suddenly the crowd began to slowly get louder and more rowdy, she turned her head and noticed Paul entering the ring, along with a little midget, that midget was Iris. Despite her small size, Iris seemed almost… bigger, her big mess of hair was pulled and pined back out of the way, she wasn't dressed in the semi cute clothes she normally wore, she was in gym shorts and a tight white tank, her arms and knees were wrapped and she was shifting her weight from foot to foot, warming up. She looked… in her element.

That was kind of scary.

"Let's get closer!" Misty grinned, grabbing May's hand and dragging her closer to the concrete stage/ring thingy.

"They're starting!" Ash cried out excitedly.

Both Paul and Iris got in ready positions and before she could blink they were at each other.

They were amazing. It was nothing like fighting on television, they didn't have any qualms about making painful, and direct hits on each other. It was like the most physical and painful dance Misty had ever seen. Punches went to the neck, kicks to the chest.

"Go Iris!" May cheered excitedly, "Wax on, wax off!"

"That's Karate Kid you idiot!" Misty yelled, frustrated again by the incorrect film references.

"Who the hell cares!?" May laughed as she jumped up and down cheering, "Kick him in the balls!"

May got surprisingly violent when excited apparently.

Paul was powerful; he had a lot of muscle going for him. He was like a force, terrifying and unafraid. He hit bluntly and to the point. Iris on the on the other hand was smaller, but much faster, she utilized her elbows and jabbed in a less uniform fashion, she was quite the acrobat actually.

After a while Paul was spitting blood from his mouth and Iris was tightening her now bloody wraps around her arms. Misty wasn't sure how to tell when this was finished, did they have to die? Cause seriously they weren't showing any signs of backing down.

Suddenly Iris charged towards Paul, he stood, legs apart, ready to take her on. At the last second Iris dropped to the ground, slid underneath the space between his legs shot up and landed a forceful stomp on his calf.

Paul cursed and fell to his knees, he tried to get up, his legs wobbled but he fell to the ground again,

"I'm done," He said breathlessly.

Iris smiled triumphantly but held her hand out to help him up, he refused it (how Paul of him) and used the side of the ring to drag himself up. The crowd erupted into a mixture of cheers and boos. Cheers from Iris's fans, and boos from Paul's.

May looked like she was on something she was shaking and waving her hands in excitement,

"Iriiiiiiiiiiiissssss!"

Misty chose to ignore this.

"Damn, she's good," She remarked to Dawn.

"Yup," Dawn smiled proudly, "That's my girl."

As she spoke Iris approached them, battered and bruised, and with a shocked expression.

"Gary!" She yelled, "What the fuck?!"

Gary gave her an arrogant shrug,

"Not my fault you're a liar."

"I swear I will fight again if it means kicking your ass, I miss the times when I got to do that."

"Sorry Ty, I don't fight anymore, got better things to do."

Misty sensed now was a good time to interject and pull Iris away, apparently Ash had the same feeling and casually stepped between Gary and Iris.

"Hey Gary, let's not be a dirt bag today and wait at the car for these ladies to finish whatever they need to work through."

"Something intelligent!" Misty cried, "Thank you Ash, although odd coming from you. C'mon Iris, let's… chat."

The expression on the small girl's face said that the last thing she wanted to do was 'chat' with her.

"Don't worry Iris," Dawn assured her, as they separated from Ash and Gary,"You got me on your side."

Just then Paul made his way towards the four girls,

"Good fight Maharaj," He commented, "Does that tie us up?"

"Nah," Iris replied, "You're still up by one, but not for long."

"Not if you keep using moves like that," Paul agreed then turned to Dawn, "What are they doing here?"

Dawn sighed,

"Gary blabbed and Misty harassed Ash into taking her and May here."

"Ash is here?"

Misty rose her eyebrow,

"Why?"

"Oh," Dawn laughed casually, "They fought a lot back in the day, their fights brought in a ton of bet money. Paul's just being competitive," She turned to the man in question, "Seriously Paul, you can't fight again tonight. Iris kicked your butt."

"Yeah she did," May snorted, "How do you guys not kill each other?"

"We don't throw the matches per say but we aren't going for murder when we fight, just enough to get the crowd going," Iris explained.

"Oh, well it was awesome!" She said animatedly.

"Wow May, I never pegged you to like illegal fighting," Iris chuckled.

"I've never seen anything like it!"

Paul whispered in Dawn's ear,

"She's the sheltered one, right?"

Misty held back a laugh and Dawn shushed him,

"Well Paul and I should be going, he's got to pick up his winnings from Georgia and I have to finish my shift. Don't wait up for me, I'll probably crash at his place or something."

And with that Dawn skipped (yes skipped) away back towards the bar. Before Paul could leave Misty grabbed his forearm, his facial expression screamed 'back off' but she persisted,

"Look Paul, I don't know you. You seem… I really want to say nice but I can't. I don't know what the hell to make of you but I do know that you care about Dawn, and don't bother giving me the crap she spouts about friends with benefits or whatever. Someone like her should not be working here."

Paul's face was serious when he responded,

"I know."

"I also know that Dawn won't be told what to do by anyone, but so long as she's here, you watch out for that fucking ray of joy because she is a gift to the human race."

"I know."

Well that was oddly adorable.

"Then you are free to go to your apartment and get naked together, nice fight by the way."

Paul sort of smiled.

Score.

When he was gone Misty turned to Iris,

"Now for you missy."

* * *

Deciding that that nasty place wasn't the best place to talk the three girls made their way out of the… whatever it was, and found a relatively quiet and safe place to talk.

"So Iris," May began, "You're kind of amazing."

The purple haired girl looked taken aback, probably expecting a scolding.

"…Thanks."

"I know that Serena will go all 'mum' on you," Misty began, the two girls nodded in solemn agreement, "But I just want to know why and how. Be as vague or specific as you want."

Iris stared at her hands, inhaled, and exhaled,

"I joined when I was about eleven, kicked some ass, and I've been there ever since. Guess they thought a little kid fighting was entertaining."

"What about Ash and Gary?"

"Gary joined first, and Ash soon after, they were sixteen. Gary left first, then Ash about a year and a half ago."

"Why do you hate Gary?" May asked.

"Dunno," Iris shrugged, obviously not in the mood to talk.

"Cilan doesn't know right?"

Iris sighed guiltily,

"He thought I left when Ash did. He's completely unaware."

"Look," May began, "I am the last person that should be giving you advice on relationship, which was obvious when you met me, but I think you need to tell him, or at least quit before he finds out."

"I know that," Iris contemplated, "But it's hard… that's almost ten years I've been there. It pays well."

"I guess that's up to you," May agreed, "You know I work with Cilan, I promise he won't find out from me."

"Unless," Misty added, "You get even more reckless. No hospital visits. Always win. If not, no deal."

"Fine," Iris said, giving up.

"Remember," May said, "When life knocks you down, you can choose whether or not to get back up."

"May, that's Karate Kid, not Fight Club."

"Whatever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omigosh I updated! This one took a while. I really wanted to get it right. I don't know if I did but it's the best I could do.
> 
> There's still more secrets about Iris and Dawn and all that, but hopefully that quenches your thirst for answers.
> 
> Yes, Clemont is Ash's Step Brother aka Serena's baby daddy. That's definitely going to end well.
> 
> Uh... not sure when I'll update next. Soon hopefully. I'm planning on alternating between my two active Pokemon fics so expect a chapter after I update The Games We Play.


	6. Misty makes a bet on an unborn child and finds Ash charming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misty and Iris bet on an unborn child, Clemont is the shit, Ash appears very kissable in a moment of insanity.

"All I'm saying is that I have an irrefutable science, and there is no way I'm wrong."

"Iris, you are insane how does Serena's pillow have anything to do with this?"

"If her pillow faces north, it means the baby is a boy!"

"How in the fuck is that science!?"

"It just is!"

"What if she moved the pillow? Would the gender magically change, huh? What other bullshit proof do you have?"

"She's carrying it all in the front, which means boy. And I'm 90% sure her right breast is bigger than her left!"

"Iris does your anus ever get jealous of your mouth and how much shit comes out of it? Why are you calculating the sizes of Serena's individual boobs? That's creepy as hell!"

"Hey I have 300 dollars riding on this; I'm pretty invested in being right on this!"

"Your theories are ludicrous."

"You don't even have theories!"

"That's why it's a bet! There's no way to tell either way! It's chance!"

Misty was ready to punch Iris square in the face but refrained as that girl fought illegally for money. Misty was dumb, but not that _dumb_.

All this started about a week ago when Dawn mentioned that Serena would having her ultrasound and she was far enough along to tell what the gender was. This led to Iris and Misty starting a wager, she was sure it was a girl, Iris thought otherwise. Long story short, they went a little insane over this. Iris and her old wives myths were weird and crappy, Misty perfected a 50/50 wager.

"Hate to break up this argument, but you're both being completely irresponsible with your money," May interjected in a very know-it-all, uppity tone, "Even ultrasounds, something that is an actual science, have been wrong. They thought my baby brother was a girl, but when it was time to push, out popped a baby with a wiener."

"OK May," Misty began, "First of all, weird story, did not need to know that. Second of all, who are you to be lecturing us on being frugal; you spent the first paycheck you got on tickets for all of us to go to the theme park."

May sniffed with a large amount of attitude,

"I didn't hear you complaining; in fact I seem to recall you practically worshiping me for the next week, so who are _you_ to judge?"

"So I had the time of my life, water parks are like kryptonite to me. Not my fault."

"Whatever, point is, you guys are just throwing money around. At least the water park was a bomb ass time."

"Newsflash May, people gamble irresponsibly all the time, and often on me, welcome to the real world," Iris argued, referring to her damned caged fights, which Misty still did not approve of, but had shut up about for the most part.

"Well the real world is messed up," May sighed, "Look, Dawn and Serena are going to back from the ultrasound appointment any minute now. I just think it would be more supportive if we were happy about the baby's sex, not that one of you won 300 dollars."

"Heh, May said sex," Misty snickered.

"I'm trying to be serious."

"Not your strong suit sweetheart."

"I hope you both die," May muttered under her breath.

"That's super cute May, your threats, but that doesn't fit you much."

"Y'know I wish you guys would take me seriously, I'm not that stupid!"

Misty exchanged a glance with Iris, trying to hide their grins,

"Uh… whatever you say."

"Is there any way I can show you guys I'm not that dumb?"

Misty put her hand to her chin,

"Doubt it."

Iris grinned evilly,

"I think I have an idea."

"Go on you wicked little twerp," Misty urged excitedly.

"Yeah, I can take it."

"I was talking with Dawn earlier and she mentioned something pretty good going on soon. Two weeks from now, guess what's happening?"

"What?"

"Dawn's ex Zoey's current lover, who throws awesome parties, is throwing one hell of a Halloween Bash. Dawn and I were going to go, but now we're bring along the lovely May. Let's see if you can handle a college party. You've never been to one right?"

May nodded begrudgingly.

"Oh hell yes, I am so ready for that!" Misty cried out excitedly, "I've wanted to party with May since I met her! And Candice sounds like she throws kickass parties!"

"Never said you were coming," Iris interjected, "You drink way too much as it is."

"Screw you Iris, I'm going and you can't stop me."

"Fine, but I nominate you as designated driver."

"Aw nuts…"

"This will be fun," May smiled as she clapped her hands together excitedly, "We have to get our costumes and everything."

"See, I already like the way you think May," Misty replied, wrapping her arm around the younger girl's shoulder, "You're already ten times more fun than Iris."

"Yes!" May grinned, pumping her fists in what appeared to be triumph.

As they spoke the door opened, revealing two very adorable and well dressed people, Dawn and Serena. They both were beaming.

It was feasting time.

Misty and Iris were instantly on Serena, demanding to know the gender.

"Woah, calm down," Dawn sighed, "Be more respectful of a pregnant lady."

Serena smiled a beautiful a bright smile too pure for this cruel world and waved her off,

"It's OK, I know they're betting on Baby's gender."

"So?" Iris began, and Misty finished, "What is it?"

Serena paused, continuing to smile and keeping the two girls in dramatic suspense before revealing that…

She had no idea.

"What?!" The two cried.

"Sorry, I never said I wanted to know the gender, that was you two," The blonde pointed out, "I want a surprise!"

"You sneaky bitch," Iris muttered bitterly, Misty just pouted.

"That's me," Serena replied smugly.

"You two deserve it," May added, "Betting on an unborn child, shame on you."

"Shut up May."

May sniffed indignantly,

"Whatever, you all just don't want to admit that the 'dumb' one is right."

No one wanted to agree with her... but it was kind of true.

* * *

When Misty and Iris finally calmed down, everyone sat down for dinner. Luckily no one had work that night so they had time to catch up.

"So Dawn," May said, mouth full of food, "Zoey and Candice are throwing a party, right?"

Dawn nodded,

"So psyched! I can't wait to buy a costume! I'm thinking... sexy... uh... something."

"How original," Iris muttered sarcastically.

"Mind if I tag along?" May asked.

"Sure! Having you will make it all the more fun."

Misty narrowed her eyes, those two were so smiley and cheesy. It was annoying.

"Um, can I come too?" Serena asked shyly, "I know carrying a sacred vessel and everything, but I don't drink and I love Halloween. Please?"

Apparently Dawn could not resist the beautiful face of Serena,

"Sure, but you're staying by my side all night."

"Deal!"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming too," Misty informed her.

"Uh…" Dawn uttered dumbly.

"Don't worry I'm not drinking apparently, designated driver or something."

"Well… alright," Dawn said uncertainly, "I'm just worried about… y'know… your problem."

"What problem," Misty growled warningly.

"Nothing…" She mumbled into her water glass.

There was an awkward silence at the table where no one said anything. It kind of felt like someone just died, except it hadn't happened yet but it would because Misty would kill anyone who spoke on the subject again.

"I can't believe you all are letting her hold you hostage over this," Iris chastised, "Don't walk on eggshells, Misty drinks like a fucking sailor and she won't admit that it's an issue. Why are we pretending this isn't something to address?"

"Oh, then I suppose your fucking cage fights aren't an issue that we should talk about," Misty challenged venomously, "Why I just go stroll over to Cilan and casually mention your nightly excursions to him." She waited for Iris to reply but the younger girl simply glared at her, "That's what I thought; now if you'll excuse me, I'm going out. Not because I have a problem but because you're an asshole and I'm doing this to piss you off."

With that Misty got up from the table and stormed out of the apartment.

She was getting smashed.

* * *

Man, she regretted last night so much. Damn her, and her need to have the last word in an argument, Misty had forgotten to put into account that she had an early morning class at Uni the next day. So here she was in some mandatory first year class that she hadn't taken until now. She wasn't even sure what the class was exactly, something lame she was just bullshitting her way through. Just like a first year.

Not wanting to show up at the apartment drunk out of her mind, she just stayed out until her class started. So Misty was a mess, not her best night out. She smelled like vodka and bad choices and her clothes screamed 'I'm a homeless woman and no I do charge hourly.' She was humiliated that Iris's one comment had made her want to do what she did last night.

While she put her head on her desk in shame, nursing a raging hangover, she felt someone tap her shoulder. She repressed the urge to hiss at them like a wild animal and settled for peeking out from the fortress of 'stay the fuck away' she'd made with her arms.

"Hey," Clemont waved with a sweet smile, "I thought that was you."

"What gave you the idea?" She muttered, surprised to be seeing Ash's little step brother here.

"The hair."

"I hate being a ginger."

"I didn't realize we had the same class," He said as he sat down, obviously not catching Misty's 'stay the fuck away' fortress, "Aren't you finishing up your degree?"

"Yeah… didn't do this dumb ass course first year. I only have this and one other course and I'm out of here," She replied, "Do you mind not sitting here?"

"Huh? Why?" He said with a disappointed expression.

"Because the only time I met you, you had blown up half an apartment."

"Fair enough, hey do you smell that?"

"That would be me."

"Oh. OK."

"That's another reason you should get up and sit somewhere else. I have a hangover and may or may not claw your eyes out if you don't shut up. Really this is just for your own good. You're welcome."

"It's OK, I'm just going to sit here. Not like we know anyone else, right?"

"Ugh, whatever. Just don't piss me off."

"No worries, I'm not half as bad as Ash."

"I'd drink to that."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Probably not."

* * *

Turns out Clemont was actually a pretty cool guy, somehow he'd been kind enough to offer her his shower at his and Ash's apartment. Since there was no way in hell Misty was heading back to the apartment smelling like a Korean hotel. They both had an afternoon class so by about 4 o'clock they left the campus.

"Hey Clemont?" Misty called out when she got out of the shower, towel covering the lady bits, "You wouldn't happen to have a change of clothes or something, mine smell like shit."

"Yeah, I'll leave something at the door!" He replied from the other side of the door.

Misty silently hoped that he was going to pick some of Ash's clothes, the kid wasn't exactly fashionable but Clemont wore jumpsuits an overalls, Ash was the obvious choice. Not her style.

She was pleasantly surprised to find a loose fitting black tee and some pretty big, but not big enough that they were falling off her body, jeans. She could deal with this.

As she came out of the room she noticed that it wasn't just Clemont in the apartment anymore, Ash was there, as was a woman, no older than maybe 40 or so. Judging by the fact that she looked like she'd swallowed a beach ball, she was probably Ash's pregnant mother.

What a humiliating way to meet Ash's mother. In her own son's clothes. Classy. Misty didn't 'meet' mothers; all the 'get the hell out' alarms were going off in her head right now. She sensed herself going into fight or flight mode. Calming herself, she took a deep breath. She could do this; she could be an adult (even if she had spent all of last night getting wasted and making terrible life choices).

"Oh hey Mist," Ash grinned, "Whatcha doing here? You're wearing my clothes?"

"Um… Clemont and I met up at school and I—"

"She needed a change of clothes, someone bumped into her and spilled coffee all over her, I offered her our shower."

Damn, nice save Clemont. This kid was probably the best person in the world right now, taking one for the team and all.

"Okay then, this is my mum," He introduced, "Mum, this is Misty."

"Ah! Ash has told me so much about you, I'm Delia," The woman smiled sweetly, grabbing Misty's hand, "It's so nice to see that Ash makes friends with beautiful girls."

"Uh…" Misty felt her face going red; she wasn't used to compliments regarding her appearance, not when she was growing up.

"He has Dawn and Iris, but those two aren't exactly single are they?" Delia winked knowingly, "I want grandchildren y'know, and Ash is getting to the age where he needs to settle down already. From what Ash has told me, you are definitely the type who would remind him to wear clean underwear."

"Woah there Miss," Misty backed up raising her hands up in the air, trying to deflect the fact that she did actually kind of like Ash, not enough to have his babies, but liked him none the less, "It's not like you're going to be starved for infants for a while."

She heard Clemont snicker as he headed to his room, probably to blow something else up, there was still damage around the door frame from the last time that happened.

"Yeah!" Ash agreed enthusiastically, apparently happy that she wasn't going along with his mother's apparent plan.

"Wait, you don't wear clean underwear?" She questioned, wrinkling her nose, "Fucking disgusting… oh gosh, I shouldn't swear in front of a baby, right? Sorry I have zero experience with children."

Delia laughed and replied as Ash tried to convince her that he did in fact wear clean underwear, but Misty ignored him,

"Don't worry about it, the little guy won't remember it."

"So it's a boy?"

"That's right, little Draco."

"Like that pale asshole from Harry Potter? Such a dick… but so beautiful…"

"Damn Misty, no need to insult my little bros name," Ash teased.

His mother rolled her eyes,

"If I recall correctly, you said the exact same thing, just without the beautiful part. Ash Ketchum, don't be rude to Misty."

"Yeah Delia," She cheered under her breath as she watched the raven haired boy's face go red, she then remembered that she had yet to know the sex of Serena's little sea monkey, "I wish my friend would find out whether she's having a boy or a girl."

"Your friend is pregnant?"

"Yeah, she's my roommate, and she's young and unprepared as hell, father isn't in the picture. So my roommates and I are gonna help raise it, I have a bet with Iris on the gender. Yesterday she had an ultrasound, could have found out, but no~, she wanted it to be a 'surprise'."

"So she's showing now?" Ash asked.

"Yup, she's going to look like a human balloon soon," She turned to Delia, "No offense."

"None taken," The older woman assured her, "I know all about being a young mother, I'm sure you were able to assume that. I wasn't out of my teens when little Ashy was born; luckily my friend was just as pregnant as me so we got through it together, and Ash and Gary turned out alright I think… except for the illegal fighting thing, luckily that got sorted out."

"You know about that?" Misty asked in surprise, "Damn Ketchum, you really can't keep a secret can you?"

Ash snickered sheepishly.

"I think you girls helping out your friend like that is amazing, so selfless of you," Delia praised.

"It's not any trouble, Serena's a sweetheart we can't help but want to help her."

"No trouble?" Ash laughed, "You gave up your room and you sleep on the couch, I think you're pretty amazing too."

Misty, uncomfortable with the compliment, shoved his arm slightly,

"Whatever."

"Ash, Clemont and I were going out for dinner; did you want to join us?"

Misty smiled, actually kind of looking forward to this.

"Sure."

* * *

It was already night time by the time Delia had been picked up by her husband and Ash, Clemont, and Misty headed back to the two boys' apartment. She had turned off her phone after a few million texts and missed calls from all four of her roommates, obviously thinking she was dead, missing, kidnapped, or all three. It was a dick move not to respond but she kind of wanted to give them a little scare. She really was an asshole.

"Thanks for dinner!" Misty smiled as she plopped onto the sitting room couch next to Ash.

"You insisted on paying for your own food though…" Ash pointed out.

"Still it was nice of your mum to invite me, she's really great y'know."

"Yeah she is," Ash replied fondly.

"Best step mum I could ask for," Clemont added.

"So are you heading back home when your brother is born?"

"Yeah, Clemont and I are heading to Pallet Town, where I grew up, for the birth. In… two months?"

"You grew up in Pallet Town?" Misty marveled, "I lived pretty nearby actually, in Cerulean."

"No way?" Ash grinned, "We might have met before then!"

"Doubt it; I'd remember someone as obnoxious as you."

The three continue talking for at least another hour about absolutely nothing, but it was the kind of nothing that meant something— if that made any sense.

Clemont stretched his arms out and yawned,

"I really should finish my paper now, I should get to my room."

"C'mon man, you're exhausted," Ash chastised, "You're over working yourself and that paper isn't due for another two weeks."

"But—"

"Just go to bed man, work tomorrow, sleep now."

The younger blond sighed, but conceded. When he was in his room Misty asked,

"That kid doesn't know when to stop, huh?"

Ash laughed,

"Yeah, I admire him for it. Normally I would let him keep going, but he's having a hard time so he works too much. I mean, I'm all for giving it everything you got and no rest for the wicked or whatever, but he needs a break if he wants to keep his momentum."

"How wise," She commented in response.

"It's kind of funny coming from me, cause I'm the type to train and work all night, for some reason though… it's different with him."

"How so?"

"Don't know."

"Is he working to avoid?"

"Probably, never thought of it that way."

"Well, no, you wouldn't," She sighed, referring to Ash's lack of social awareness and human behaviour, "What's going on with him?"

"Mum says its heartbreak, but I have no idea what that's all about. Apparently someone really close to him kind of disappeared from his life or something."

"Girlfriend?"

"Maybe, but Clemont and Bonnie—my stepsister—were really close with her. Never met her or anything, he doesn't talk much about it."

Misty pondered this for a moment,

"Is that why Clemont came to live with you? To escape problems?"

"I guess."

"Then I guess I understand him more than I thought."

"Eh?"

"Nothing…"

"You don't strike me as the type to run away from things," Ash observed.

"You'd be wrong then," Misty laughed bitterly, thinking deeply.

There was a prolonged silence; she found it uncomfortable because it meant no distractions from her mind, but Ash seemed content, also thinking deeply.

"I think I smell wood burning," She joked half-heartedly. He didn't respond, still in thought.

Ash… what to make of him… Misty didn't know. He was full of annoyances, odd experiences, and surprised. She felt drawn to him, so instead of dwelling on other things, she thought about that.

Suddenly he turned his head towards her,

"I have an idea, you're running away, right?"

She reluctantly nodded.

"I'll make you a deal, where's somewhere you've always wanted to go?"

"Hoenn. Dewford Island. Or somewhere warm where I can swim," She said this almost instantly.

"Then we're going!"

"What?!"

"I promise to you Misty whatever-your-middle-name-is Williams, that if you face your problems, right after we're going to Dewford Island as long as you want so you can run away as long as you need."

"You realize that it's not that easy, me facing all my problems could take years. You're talking to an extremely fucked up individual here."

"That's fine, got time to save money. Once you deal with you, you can run as far away as you want… just with a friend this time."

For the first time since she met Ash, Misty knew whether she wanted to slap him or kiss him, but she wouldn't do it.

A kiss would scare the living shit out of that kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whhaaa? I updated? Crazy. This was kind of a filler chapter, but needed. For the next chapter which will be, as you can guess, the Halloween party. Expect insanity.
> 
> Probably won't update this until the new year so for all of you guys out there who celebrate a holiday in december, a very happy holidays to you. Those of you who don't, lucky you! You get a winter break for no reason that pertains to you, that's kind of awesome.
> 
> Thanks guys for supporting this story, it really means a lot. You guys are amazing, best Christmas gift ever :)


	7. Misty meets a new friend and can't get laid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh... lot's of the drunks.

Misty was fairly sure she and Iris were on good terms again, they hadn't apologized or any of that Gilmore Girls shit, but they were joking and stuff. They had a bomb ass time finding Halloween costumes so she guessed that was the equivalent of making up.

Probably.

With Iris, who really was to say? Iris was an independent, self-assured, and loud spoken person, Misty was at least one of those things, of course they'd be on and off constantly. Dawn had said something along those lines as well, but the word she'd chosen was 'headstrong'. Misty resented that.

Now they were getting ready to go to that Halloween party Zoey and Candice were throwing. Misty had never met them before, but she had seen the two of them that one time she stalked Dawn's social media accounts with Serena. They seemed adorable and apparently threw parties that were legendary so Misty had giddy butterflies in her stomach, completely excited.

At the moment Dawn was finishing up Misty's makeup. Dawn was insanely good at costume makeup, which was probably because she was an art major but seriously… she was awesome. She was dressed as Emily from that Tim Burton movie, Corpse Bride and her makeup was spot on and she still somehow managed to look completely sexy.

Misty's was Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus because one, it was pretty gosh darned hilarious, and two, being a ginger kind of limited her choice of costume since she hated wigs. She was originally going to wear a carrot suit but Serena had insisted to put a little more effort into it than that.

"You guys done?" May asked from outside the bathroom.

Dawn dusted a bit more blush on Misty's cheeks before singing out,

"All done~!"

Misty took a glance into the mirror; she looked like the legendary teacher herself, down to the pure insanity in her eyes. Ms. Frizzle always had freaked Misty out as a child, because who the hell thinks it's a good idea to take a school bus inside a freaking student's innards? No one who was clinically sound of mind that was for sure.

"Nice."

"Thanks, you look really cute!" Dawn complimented.

"If I was a teacher would you screw me?"

"Oh hell yeah," Dawn giggled, "If you wore a skirt that short every day I wouldn't be able to help it."

"Good," Misty said, jokingly fluffing her now fizzy hair. She was glad she'd taken… some liberties with the length of the costume's skirt. She hardly wore dresses, why not go all out? Who cares if someone saw her underwear if she bent over, she was looking fine as hell and she never skipped a leg day.

The two emerged from the bathroom and saw Iris and Serena.

Iris was dressed as Bumblebee. As a superhero fan herself, particularly of the Teen Titans, Misty greatly approved, plus Iris was thin enough to pull off the unforgiving tight leather pants that came with any female superhero costume. And Serena, dearest most adorable and perfect Serena, was Princess Peach; you couldn't even really notice her little baby bump. Iris wanted her to have a demon baby coming out of her tummy but that freaked Misty out, brought back thoughts she didn't want to think about. Serena hadn't liked it anyways, thank goodness.

"You guys look awesome!" Dawn grinned, "Where's May? I heard her just a second ago."

"No need to worry!" The person in question cried out excitedly exiting from her room with an intense amount of enthusiasm, "What do you think?"

Holy hell, May made a really sexy Lara Croft.

"Fuck you May," Misty replied, "You totally outshine all of us. Why can't I have boobs like that?"

May shrugged as if she couldn't care less,

"If I could share some with you I would… but…"

"I'm trying to say you look hot as fuck."

"I'll second that!" Iris agreed, raising her hand.

May's face went bright red before she stuttered out,

"I'm only doing this because you guys think I can't act my age."

"You definitely look twenty one now," Dawn teased, "Wanna go on a date sometime?"

"Eh?" Misty coughed out indignantly, "You said you'd bang me, why are you so fickle?"

Dawn's only response was a flirty smirk. Vixen.

After they had completely embarrassed May to the point where she was lying face down on the couch trying to hide her blushing they figured, hey, maybe they should get going.

"Does Ms. Frizzle want to take the wheel?" Dawn said, gesturing her hands towards her car.

Misty pretended to fix her insanely fizzy red hair all prim and proper like and said in her best impression,

"Come students; come into my Magic School Bus."

They all hoped in but before Serena did she decided to comment,

"That's quite the innuendo Teach."

Iris snorted in a very unladylike manner. Misty's favourite kind of manners.

"You bet," Misty winked.

"Dawn!" Yelled out a disgustingly terrifying zombie with fervor as she embraced the blue haired girl, "So glad you came!"

"Zoey, you look awesome!" Dawn giggled. Oops, that was Zoey. She seriously looked different from her picture. It was probably the melting flesh and blood…

"So do you!"

Misty rolled her eyes at the back and forth exchange between the two, at the same time she was actually in awe. Those two used to date. How were they so friendly?

They were at the party, the door of the house to be precise, Misty could hear the insanity going on inside and she wanted in. Like now.

"So these are your new friends?" Zoey asked, "Not how I pictured them."

"Probably because we're dressed in Halloween costumes," Misty pointed out, "I mean… what did you expect?"

"Heh, good point," Zoey laughed amicably, then turned to Iris, "Hey Iris, is Cilan coming?"

"Naw, he's not into partying, this is a girl's night apparently," Iris replied with a slight discomfort.

"It's good to see that you've got a place to stay now though," Zoey grinned, leaving Iris gape mouthed, "Anyways, I got to help Candice bring some booze in, feel free to do whatever. Have fun!"

Weird, Iris's reaction that is, and Zoey's comment too. Sounded odd, but Misty wasn't about to question it, she was getting shots, or whatever would get her hammered, she wasn't picky.

Yeah she was the designated driver, but Serena had a licence and definitely wasn't about to drink with her oven all bunned up so Misty was good to go, ready to make her mind a mush.

"Alright guys," Misty grinned excitedly, "Let's get crazy!"

"Hell yeah!" May cried with equal fervor.

This was going to be awesome.

"What the hell Misty?" Iris whined with red cup in hand, stumbling around and spilling whatever was in it, "You're drinking!"

Misty laughed; Iris was so small she had no tolerance for alcohol. She, on the other hand had a fairly high tolerance. She'd drunk a fair amount and was only slightly buzzed. Iris was an interesting drunk; she was a forgetful, clumsy, and moody one. It was amusing, Misty figured she could

"Uh DUH," She grinned, holding up her shot of tequila, "What do you think this liquid money is?"

"B-but what about getting home?"

"Serena can drive, speaking of, where is she?"

"With… Martha?"

"You mean May?" Where did Martha come from?

"Yeah… that. I'm… fuckin pissed y'know."

Misty raised her eyebrows, deciding to humor her she sighed,

"Why?"

"You're… nuts."

"Guilty as charged," Misty smiled, clinking her shot glass against Iris's cup then tilting her head back to drink it. She was glad Iris was too wasted to get out what she really meant otherwise Misty was sure she was in for a lecture on her habits, lucky for her this Iris could only process so much information at once and it wasn't very much at all.

"Ugh, whatever. I'm gunna go find Dawn; she's probably out hoeing it up somewhere."

Misty cringed, remembering Paul's respect and care he showed for Dawn when he promised to watch over her back at the fight club. She kinda felt bad for the guy. Dawn thought everything was casual but Misty knew her shit, fuck buddies never worked, someone always got attached. Only thing was it was usually the girl, not the moody 'my angry face is my normal face' dudes. That was kind of new.

"Have fun," Misty said waving her off, "Make sure she doesn't catch anything."

And she went on with her night.

Three shots more and five more beers and Misty was definitely feelings the effects of the poison she was consuming, she was for sure drunk. Not enough that she was spewing nonsense and passing out, but enough that she was more than inebriated.

"'Rena!" She yelled out when she saw her pregnant friend in the corner of the room, "C'mere!"

Serena took one look at Misty and sighed, sort of offensive, not a nice reaction really.

"Sing karaoke with meeee!" Misty begged, clinging to Serena's sleeve like it was a life preserver.

Serena blushed. Heh. Cute.

"I don't sing."

"That's the point my beautiful shooting star, karaoke is for people who sing like shit to sing like shit together!"

"I think I'm cutting you off," Serena said, taking the cup from Misty's hand.

"'Rena," Misty warned, "You may be the most adorable thing on this earth but don't think I won't knock you out once you've had that fucking kid."

"Yes, yes," The younger girl chastised as if Misty was a child, "Ms. Frizzle is a teacher, she shouldn't get too crazy. You have to drive the Magic School Bus tomorrow so I'm doing you a favour. You don't want to drive a bunch of crazy grade schoolers with a hangover, do you?"

That reasoning seemed solid.

"How long have we been here?"

"A couple hours, it's almost midnight. I'm going to find everyone, we should head home."

Misty frowned deeply; she was going to avoid that ending. Ending a party at midnight was not acceptable. She hadn't even seen May since they got here and drunk May was the whole damn reason she even came, plus the booze but mostly drunk May. So she was gonna keep on keeping on, Ms. Frizzle was letting loose. She made a point to avoid Serena, no matter how much it hurt to push that perfect child away.

So she did some shots with Barry and Kenny, they were just as annoying as she remembered but they were fun to party with. There were multiple belly laughs involved and snorting, not cocaine, just the laughing kind of snort. She met Candice briefly who was absurdly sweet and likeable; she was also the only one here that was actually Misty's age, most of the people here were the ages eighteen to maybe twenty. Why was she always the old codger in the room? She was twenty three years old, almost a university graduate and she was partying with probably a few high schoolers. Lame. Even May had only recently turned twenty one.

Maybe she was being dramatic… she was young! She should be allowed to do what the fuck ever. One thing she really wanted to do right now was have a sensuous encounter with a handsome stranger. Honestly they didn't even have to be handsome, just human and… human. Anyone would do, she was sexually frustrated and she wanted to be relieved.

With this thought in mind Misty set out on her search.

Thank the heavens she was drunk and so was everyone else otherwise she wouldn't have any idea how to solicit sex from anyone. She hadn't done in sober since high school.

So naturally she picked the first person she saw, some dude, her drunk goggles were telling her that he wasn't too bad looking.

Time for the charm bomb.

"Heyyy…" Misty slurred.

"Hey gorgeous," He replied with a disarming smile, "What's your name?

"Well tonight I go by Ms. Frizzle, but normally I'm just Misty."

"Ah, I always thought that teacher was hot."

Misty scrunched her nose in disgust, Ms. Frizzle was not cute, she was questioning this guy's judgment.

"Seriously?"

"No, I meant cause you're dressed as her. I was being suave."

Misty pursed her lips and shook her head,

"Good try…" She searched her mind for a name.

"Rudy."

"I was going to go with Harold but yeah whatever," She waved him off, "You wanna get a room or something cause I'm really sexually frustrated."

"Oh! Um, OK." He replied clearly excited, "Let's head upstairs."

As she walked (or stumbled) along with 'Rudy' a face popped into her head.

Ash.

Oh hell no.

This was not happening.

She was not letting some kid get in the way of her getting laid.

Misty had it bad. Real fucking bad.

She didn't want to do this.

Abort.

"Oh, look my phone is ringing!" Misty lied with a smile.

"No it's not."

"Yes it is, look."

"It actually isn't."

"I better answer it."

"It isn't ringing."

"Oh hello? Iris?"

"You aren't talking to anyone."

"You need to go home now? Alright I'll meet you at the door!"

"You're holding your phone upside down."

"See you soon!"

"Look if you don't want to have sex with me just say so—"

"Eh? I never said that, I have to go cause my friend called me."

"No she didn't."

"Yeah I think she did."

"Alright… have a good night."

Then he disappeared into the crowd. That was surprisingly easier than she thought. Huh.

Misty walked towards a couch that had clearly been moved from its original position before the party, deciding to take a little break from everything. She was a little freaked that she wanted to do the dirty with Ash and only Ash. Knowing that guy that would never happen either so either way she was not exactly pleased.

Looks like she was screwed. Oh well. No better off than before at least.

She sighed as she flopped onto the couch… it was insanely soft.

"Hey," An unfamiliar voice spoke up, sounding much too somber for a party where Misty literally saw Dawn jump from a roof into the pool out back with Candice, Zoey begging them to come down.

Misty raised her eyebrows and looked at the only other person on the sofa. He had green hair and he wasn't Cilan. Heh. Funny.

"Hey yourself."

"You don't look like you're having fun."

"Please stop hitting on me."

"Hah," The boy laughed humorlessly, "Definitely not."

"Excuse me?"

"No offense of course, you seem alright, but I'm not here to hook up."

"Good for you," Misty muttered, a little offended he didn't want to smush with her.

"So why the long face."

"Right before I was about to fuck a dude's brains out I thought of someone else and backed off, now I'm hot and bothered, also really concerned that this person is that important to me. I don't do relationships so this is a major issue."

"Can't help you with the hot and bothered part Red," Green Head replied, "Sorry that feelings exist. I know all about that."

"Fuck feelings."

"If I had a drink I'd drink to that."

"I hardly even know the guy, I mean I met his mum, and his step brother, and his soon to be born sibling, but that doesn't mean anything, right?" She asked desperately but as she said it realized that what she described was definitely something.

"You sound like my ex. Nothing meant anything, even if it actually did."

"Come again?" She replied, still drunk and confused.

"I bloody proposed and she still thought it didn't mean anything."

"Sounds like a bright kid."

"You'd be surprised."

There was an awkward silence.

"So did she say no or something?"

"Sorry?"

"Y'know when you asked."

"No we went all the way to the alter, problem is she kept walking… walked right past me, out the church and onto the catering truck and took off. Haven't seen her since."

"Harsh." That sounded kind of familiar, like she'd heard that story before. That was crazy though, why would she?

"Yeah, so now I'm just traveling around trying to do whatever the hell this is."

"You sound confused."

"Definitely."

"So, any idea where she went?"

"Nope, tried calling her but she never picked up… thought it might be creepy to check the GPS on her phone so I never did."

"Try social media or whatever?"

"I did, she has an instagram that doesn't help me whatsoever. She just posts pictures of food or some shit and all the new friends she made wherever on god's green earth she went."

Misty was starting to feel uneasy. Her drunk brain was saying that this all was mere coincidence, but her rational brain (which was admittedly much quieter at the moment) was saying she'd just met the dude May jilted at a house party.

This was not how she envisioned her night going.

The boy set his green eyes on her curiously,

"Actually, you look sort of familiar… do you know a girl named May?"

"May Ha. Ha. Ha?" Misty laughed nervously, as she got up from the couch to get away from this guy, "Like the week?"

The boy narrowed his eyes as he followed her into the next room,

"You mean month?"

"Oh, yeah, that. Damn this stupid alcohol is making me… uh stupid."

"You're a terrible liar; I swear I've seen you before!" The boy said accusingly.

"You must be mistaking me for another insanely attractive red head. Did you watch the Magic School Bus? That must be what you're thinking of."

"Uh, no definitely not!"

Right when Misty thought she had convinced him all hell broke loose.

In the room she had just entered there stood May chugging a beer keg, she turned and saw the two of them.

"Yoooo!" She called out, drunk out of her mind, "Misty that's the guy! That's Richard Germs!"

It was Gere, but that wasn't the problem here.

"My name is May the Carpenter and I am the Runaway Bride! Fuck yeah!"

Oh fuck no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I haven't updated in forever... oops. I really don't like how this baby turned out but it's been almost 5 months since my last update, take what I give you guys.
> 
> I meant for there to be more but it was getting to be too much. So yeah. Drew's shown up and I'm a buttface and thought this would be a perfect time to end the chapter.
> 
> Next time: Contestshipping drama, as well as drama with the roommates. Weeeeeee.
> 
> Also Misty totally looooo~ves Ash... ooooooooo~


	8. Everyone yells and cries and it's a big mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is piss drunk and mad and sad. Again, a big mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, excessive swearing (even by this fic's standards) they're drunk, of course they curse like sailors. Also for people who have been reading this for a while, you may want to freshen you memory with the other chapters because this update is coming months upon months late.

The guy next to her was in complete shock, and Misty wasn't much different. May was actually acting insane.

"May! The fuck is going on?" Misty yelled out.

The drunk brunette then proceeded to hop off the table she was standing on, her legs weren't very steady so she dropped, landing on her face.

Ouch.

Quickly, May was up again and stumbling towards them. The boy next to Misty was much too shocked to be pissed at her for lying about knowing May. Judging by May's history of being a complete square this might have been the first time he'd ever seen her like this. His mouth was practically hitting the floor and if she was being honest, hers was too.

When May approached the two her arms looped clumsily around her former fiancé's neck, and she plopped one right on his mouth, Misty forced herself not to grimace. The look of surprise was apparent on his face and May had no gauge on how anyone was reacting…

Except for her apparently. She just grabbed the dude's ass and gave it a sizable squeeze. He pulled away instantly completely flabbergasted, face very much red.

"'Sup Drew?" She slurred, not sounding unlike a frat boy. The second hand embarrassment was so real right now.

"May? Wha—" 

"I missed youuuu!" She whined in possibly the most obnoxious way Misty had ever heard. Oh god, she was nuzzling his face with her face. This was the worst.

But not 'the worst' enough that Misty didn't head onto the group text and tell all of the squad to the get the fuck over here cause May's ex fiancé was here and she was sexually harassing him.

As she looked up from her phone Drew grabbed May by her shoulders, the girl still trying to kiss him, and held her away from him. He looked towards Misty with pleading eyes,

"A little help here?"

Misty thought for a moment,

"I suppose I could help you out… but I'm trying to decide whether to be an asshole and just watch this shitshow unfold because drunk May is something I've been dying to see for ages, or just being a good friend and taking her home."

Drew glared at her and was slightly distracted by the conversation, leaving May an opening to basically lick his face.

Misty raised her phone and took a video.

"Misty?!" A voice yelled out. She turned around to see Iris running towards them, pushing violently through the crowd.

Holy shit Iris just punched a guy that was in her way. Also she had a black eye. What had happened since she last saw her?

"Iris!" May squealed abandoning Drew and latching onto the younger girl.

"Get the good godily damn hell off of me!" Iris snapped, shoving May off. Apparently really drunk Iris was even more violent than regular Iris. May pouted and whined while Iris demanded where the fiancé was.

"Say hi Drew~!"

"This is so messed up," Drew muttered to himself looking like he was regretting his life choices.

"He looks like Cilan!" Iris laughed boisterously.

"Who is Cilan?!" The boy cried out in complete confusion.

"Cilan is a tall ass dude that Iris is dating. He has green hair too." Misty explained.

"I don't have time for this shit…" Drew said putting his hand to his forehead, "May what are you doing here?"

"Getting wasted!" May announced and then proceeded to howl like a pack of wolves… Iris joined in.

"Heaven give me strength," Drew prayed to himself.

Before any other insane shenanigans could ensue Misty heard a familiar voice in the crowd of people,

"Misty? May? Iris?" It called out.

Misty turned to see Serena and Dawn on making their way through the crowd, Serena was dead sober for obvious reasons and Dawn didn't seem to be stumbling as much as Iris or May.

"Guys! You all look terrible, we need to get going now," Serena insisted, "I know you're all very interested in all of," she gestured her hands towards Drew, "this, but I think it's best that we head back home."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Drew protested, "I need to talk with May."

"Look, if I give you my number will you please let us leave in peace?" Serena sighed in annoyance.

"Fine," The boy replied after a few moments consideration before giving up his phone to the pregnant teen.

"There, now shoo!" Serena said with an eye roll, "Let's get you idiots home."

They were totally getting an ass whopping from a pregnant lady.

* * *

Misty hissed as Serena slammed the door of the apartment. Her poor head hurt. Everyone had fallen asleep in the living room after they had returned from the party; Serena had gone out and appeared to have just gotten back. Misty was preparing herself for some hell to get raised or whatever. Serena was pregnant and hormonal, the worst combo that ever existed. She was definitely pissed for the trouble they'd caused at Zoey and Candice's party. According to sources May and Dawn jumped off the roof into a pool, Iris got into multiple fights, and Misty was… herself.

"How long has it been?"

"Care to explain what happened back there?" She demanded, ignoring Misty's question.

May spoke some gibberish, Iris mumbled threats and Dawn pretended that nothing was going on.

"Honestly, why do I have to be the adult here?" Serena groaned, "I gave you guys like four hours to sober up, we are talking about this _now_."

Everyone looked so damn guilty.

"Fine," Misty grumbled, "Can I just throw up one more—"

"Nope," She interrupted, "You can throw up in the trash bin over there if you really need to."

"OK…" Misty pouted in defeat.

"I cannot believe you guys, you're my friends but you're all idiots, all of you."

"Screw off Serena," Iris grumbled, "You were homeless and pregnant, can you really judge us?"

"Yeah I can Iris," Serena countered, "I'm making efforts to change my life and improve myself and what are you doing? Fighting for money!"

Oops, that was a sensitive subject. Iris shot up from the floor like a bullet, quick to point her index finger at Serena's chest.

"You don't know me!" Iris shouted, "You don't know the shit I've had to go through! Fuck off!"

"I know you enough to know you're lying to your poor, clueless boyfriend who did nothing to deserve it!"

"At least mine didn't knock me up and leave!"

"That didn't happen and you're lying is going to catch up with you and bite you in the ass!"

Misty could only watch, completely at a loss for words, eyes darting back and forth as the two argued. This was not going well. Confrontation sucked.

"Why are you only attacking me? I'm not the only one with dysfunctional relationships. Dawn is the one slutting it up with half the damn city!"

"Step off Iris before I give Cilan a call," Dawn sneered, apparently very nasty after a night of drinking, "At least the people I screw know that I'm a lying bitch!"

"Does Paul know that?" Iris spat, "That poor motherfucker is in love with you and you treat him like dog shit!"

"You two are so fucking stupid," May said with an eye roll, still lying down.

"You really want to go there May, you're possibly the stupidest people I've ever met," Dawn taunted from above, "You're the worst out of all of us, get wasted and come onto your stupid ex fiancé, who you left at the altar."

"At least I'm not an alcoholic!"

Misty frowned, not appreciating being brought into something that she had nothing to do with. In an uncharacteristic moment of maturity she stood up and used her seniority and announced to the group of them,

"Alright, we're doing this. Everyone shut up; grab a pillow or whatever you need to do. We are working this shit out now, and we're doing it without being complete dicks." Everyone looked guilty as hell as Misty continued with authority, "I'm getting into out of this costume and into my pajamas; I'll be back in 10 minutes. You all better be back here and ready to deal with things."

* * *

Misty returned to the common space and saw that everyone else had taken her advice and changed to the best of their ability (because apparently May was either little too tired or drunk to get changed properly she was just sitting on the floor in her underwear and Dawn's costume makeup was only partially washed off). Iris was sitting on the counter cross-legged, still looking mad and Serena sat on the couch with Dawn. The situation seemed to have defused a bit so that was a relief.

"We ready to do this?" Misty asked.

"I am," Serena answered. Dawn and Iris nodded and May grunted from the ground with a thumbs up.

"OK, this is cheesy as hell to say but this is a safe zone. Nothing we say leaves here and we aren't using what we say against each other, not even when we're mad."

"Why?" Iris asked lamely.

"Because if we go through with the plan of taking care of Baby," Serena responded as she pointed to her stomach, "Then we need to be closer than we are now and we need to deal with all this before Baby comes."

"Fine," Iris closed her eyes, "Let's talk then."

Suddenly it felt like all the anger that had been festering was subsiding. Thank God for it.

"Let's start with May since… well obvious reasons," Misty suggested.

"What did I do?" May whined.

"What was with you and Drew tonight?"

"Who's that?"

Iris moaned,

"Maaay!"

"OK, OK, I'll try my best," She sighed, "I've never been that drunk before. I had a sip of wine at church when I was like ten and got a little tipsy but that's about it. I guess the combination of shots and seeing Drew… wasn't… good?"

"No duh, how is that even a question?" Dawn chortled humorlessly, "Seriously, what did you do to that kid? What did that kid do to you?"

"I guess I just forgot…"

"Forgot what?"

"Forgot how much I loved him," May sniffed before bursting into tears, "I'm terrible, how could I have done that to him? I knew he loved me, I knew the whole time and I pretended not to, I'm the worst. Who does that?"

Misty felt her chest ache a little bit, she didn't really know what real romantic love was, maybe this was it. Full of pain, tears and sadness… but it must have pretty amazing to bring up so many strong emotions… to make someone miss it that much. Misty's mind wandered to Ash for a moment but she pushed that thought away and focused on the issue at hand.

Dawn got off the couch and crawled next to May, wrapping her arms around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her,

"Sorry for what I said."

"You weren't wrong," May sobbed, "I am a coward and I hate myself for it. This must have destroyed him and I just had to mess it up even more."

"Serena has his number now May," Dawn reminded her softly, "You can get closure and give him closure too, whatever that means for the two of you."

"Yeah," Serena added gently, "We can make sure this ends alright."

"I don't even know why I did it," She said honestly, "I guess I was scared, everything was happening so fast and I don't know what the hell is going on half the time. How was I supposed to get married?"

Misty bit her lower lip, she knew all about that. Seeing May on the floor, crying in her underwear was breaking her freaking heart. She seemed so vulnerable and alone. The girl always gave off this happy and unaffected feeling and it turns out that none of it was real. Or at least it was covering something she didn't want seen.

Kind of like her.

"May…" Iris began, "I'm sorry for all the crappy stuff I've said about you, too your face and behind your back. You… aren't a complete airhead, and you aren't terrible. Sorry you had to carry that."

May smiled through her tears,

"Thank you… I'm going to be better… I promise."

There was an extended period of silence, May's sobs had subsided and no one was sure what to say after that.

"What now?" Dawn asked awkwardly after a few minutes.

"What else causes problems for the people here?" Serena asked.

"The fact that you haven't talked about your worries about the baby and why you left your family?"

"That doesn't cause problems for you guys, does it?"

"No, but it does for you," Dawn pointed out, "Besides, we need to be closer than regular roommates if we're going to take care of Baby, like you said. We need to get all of this crap out before they come and we have to put on our big girl panties to take care of a mini human."

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"If it wasn't the baby's father, what made you leave?" Iris inquired.

"My mum," Serena admitted, "She had me when she was younger than me. She always told me to be careful, if she knew she'd kill me."

"Serena… your mum is probably worried sick. A baby would be least of her worries, I'm sure," Misty mumbled quietly, remembering her own mum, "I'm sure your mum loves you and she'd love your baby just as much."

Serena wiped her misty eyes to keep herself from crying,

"She'd be so disappointed. I miss her so much but she always had so many expectations for me and I destroyed them all by making a stupid mistake."

"Did you ever think that since she went through the same thing maybe she'd be your greatest ally?" Iris asked.

Serena didn't respond.

"'Rena, we aren't saying you have to go back home or anything," Misty assured her, "Does your mum know you're safe?"

"I left her a note that I was leaving and didn't say why."

"Then when you're ready, you should make peace with that part of your life."

Serena was quiet for a moment,

"…Yeah."

"Promise? Because we only want the best for you."

"Promise."

"Good," May said softly, "I can tell you're scared about the baby. You can talk to any of us about it whenever you need to, don't keep it to yourself. Just know that this baby is going to be alright, they are going to thrive with a mother like you. There's no way they aren't going to have a beautiful and full life."

Genuinely touched by May's words she approached the girl and hugged her tightly, it kind of warmed Misty's heart,

"Thank you," Serena managed, "I—I miss her so much, she was always with me growing up and now she's not."

Misty looked away. This was hitting a little too close to home for her liking.

"We're here now," Iris assured her, "Even if we are the single handed worst friends on the planet. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I was being a jerk and taking it out on you."

"It's OK, I wasn't being fair…" The blonde girl apologized.

"How were you supposed to know, I haven't told you anything about myself?"

"We're listening," Dawn grinned eagerly,

"You hush," Iris snickered, hopping off the counter to punch Dawn playfully, "Dawn already knows all this. Y'know us knowing each other for so long and all."

Dawn grinned,

"Yup!"

"I know you guys don't like that I fight, I get that, who would? I do have a reason though."

"You were eleven, right?" May clarified.

"Eleven and," The smaller girl hesitated; it clearly wasn't easy for her to say what she was about to say, "Eleven and homeless."

Misty's eyes widened. That blindsided her.

"Elaborate?" Was all she could say.

"Look, I don't have any parents or family, never have. I ran away from some crappy foster family when I was nine, lived on the streets and in the forest for a while then, ended up with my current job," Iris explained, "Fighting is… everything I know. It's my whole life. All my friends I made through fighting, any point in my life where I felt happy or confident came from fighting. I know you all hate it and want me to stop. I—I can't give it up."

"Iris…" Misty trailed off; she wasn't sure what to say to her friend. The friend that really seemed like she had it together really didn't. She was a mess.

Like all of them.

"Dawn and Ash meant everything to me, and then Gary had to go and fuck everything up and make Ash move on and I'm so fucking scared that Dawn will too. Everyone just leaves me behind," Iris didn't cry as she spoke, but she may has well have been. Her eyes were desperate and her hands shaking, "I love Cilan but he doesn't understand that I can't live if I'm not fighting. If he finds out, he'll move on from me too."

Dawn sat there in shock, she clearly had no idea that her friend was going through thoughts like this. Serena was the one to step forward and speak,

"Iris, look at me, straight in the eyes."

Iris nodded, her brown eyes meeting Serena's blue as the blonde gripped Iris's shoulders.

"Ok."

"We. Are. Not. Leaving," Serena assured her, "Fighting is _not_ everything you are. You are funny. You are kind. You are talented. You are not just someone who fights. You are someone who took me in and offered to help take care of my unborn child. If you were just a fighter… dammit Iris we would know."

"She's right," Dawn answered, "No matter what happens with my place at the club, I swear to you that I won't leave you on your own. You're one of my best friends."

May and Misty nodded eagerly.

"I know it'll take time," May said, "But I hope you can find confidence in something other than fighting."

Iris was clearly flustered from all the support she was receiving, Misty thought her red tinted face was cute.

"You guys…"

"No need to thank us," Misty said with a teasing grin, "Just be your cool, happy self and let us know if you wanna talk."

"Easier said than done," Iris muttered, but there was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"Welcome to life honey."

"Ain't that the truth."

"So who's next, Dawn or Misty?" Iris asked, apparently ready to not have the attention focused on her.

Misty met Dawn's eyes,

"Rock, paper, scissors?"

"Sure," The other girl shrugged.

Misty threw a rock and Dawn a scissors.

"Dang it," Dawn mumbled and then spoke louder for everyone else, "What am I even supposed to tell you? I don't have a sob story or anything deep like you guys; I'm just someone who got a sketchy job."

"What about your totally whack relationships?" May asked, "I mean I guess I'm not one to talk but…"

"No it's fine," Dawn laughed half-heartedly, "I understand why you guys are weirded out by it."

"No fucking shit," Misty muttered.

Dawn shot her a look before beginning again,

"It sounds totally self-absorbed and self-gratifying but people have wanted to y'know, date me, since forever."

"Yeah, it does sound like that," Misty snickered but was inwardly jealous. What kind of superpower...

"Oh hush, I wanna hear this," Serena groaned.

"Anyhoo, I just feel strange that I never felt the same. It's like I can be friends with people like I was with Zoey, Kenny and Barry, but I never felt anything more than that. I can sleep with someone and have fun but I don't feel anything else. I feel like I'm not normal. Do you think there's something wrong with me?"

"Definitely not!" May exclaimed, "You aren't obligated to love someone."

"But I'm hurting people! I mean—I pretend that I didn't hurt Zoey, Kenny and Barry and I pretend that Paul doesn't think of me as anything other than something he can stick it in every few nights but I know it's not true! I'm a piece of crap."

"Look Dawn, I've told you think before and I'll tell you again," Iris smiled, "You are a wonderful person but you are terrible at communication. Talk to people. Let them know. If you think you're hurting someone, ask. Paul seems like a reasonable guy—"

Misty began busting a gut. Good joke.

"Ok maybe not, but he'd probably understand. Isn't it better to clear things up rather than overanalysing it and giving yourself bad blood pressure?" Iris continued.

"I… guess," Dawn replied hesitantly.

"Besides, stress gives you wrinkles and you're too pretty for that," Misty joked.

"Thanks," She replied with a roll of her eyes, "You wanna get going with your story?"

"Uh no."

"You were the one who started this whole thing," Dawn pointed out.

Misty bit her lip. So she might have forgotten about that when she proposed this stupid thing.

"Alright, alright. What do you guys want to know?"

"Can you tone it on the drinking thing?" Serena mumbled, "It really makes me worry."

Misty felt a little sick. She didn't often admit her issues with drinking but she didn't want to be that one prick who wasn't honest, especially after everyone else had shared so much.

"Why do you do it Mist?" Dawn said quietly.

Misty didn't know. Not really. Or maybe she did but didn't want to. It was easy to pretend things were OK, eventually you believe them.

"I just like forgetting things," She sighed.

"Forgetting what?"

"…Family," Misty said in a soft voice, "I haven't been back home to Cerulean City since I was eighteen."

"Why?"

"My sisters, I couldn't stand them any longer. They are suffocating and obnoxious. I'm nothing like them and no matter how much they want me home I'm not going back."

"Are they that bad?" Dawn tried.

"Especially so after my parents passed away," The room was silent. Misty laughed despite the sadness that was heavy in the back of her throat, she didn't know why she was even talking about this. She didn't talk about her parents, not ever. "I guess you all have too much tact to talk about my dead parents. Good thing one of you isn't in this position, I'd probably make a joke out of it."

The group of girls looked at Misty with damp eyes.

"What?" She laughed.

"You're crying," Serena said quietly.

"No I'm—" Misty halted as she felt her wet cheeks. Well what do you know? She was.

May's lip quivered a moment before she launched herself towards Misty, wrapping her arms around her strongly and kissing her cheeks, Dawn, Serena and Iris followed in suit.

"Why are you guys being so goddamn weird?" Misty said through blurry eyes, trying to keep a humorous front but probably failing greatly.

"Because we all need some love tonight," May said simply.

"But you're half naked," Misty chuckled, tears falling faster.

"Mmhm," She mumbled, nuzzling her nose into Misty's neck.

"Don't question this," Iris muttered, "It makes it less awkward."

So the five of them sat on the apartment floor, some in various states of dress, and they laughed and they cried. Nothing was fixed and there were still things left unspoken but that didn't matter. It was the cheesiest and most obnoxiously clichéd moment anyone could possibly dream of. Probably enough to make you puke from the cringe.

Still, Misty hadn't felt this at ease in a long time.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally updated. This chapter was hard which is partly why it took so long. It was really funny or anything so it was hard to write these characters in a more serious setting. I'm still not pleased with it but here it is anyways.
> 
> There's still more to Misty's past, details and such, but that comes out in conversation later on.
> 
> Thanks guys for still reading this piece of crap. I love that you do. I'll try to write more.
> 
> Have a lovely day!

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this is my attempt at making a light sort of humorous story. Really I'm not funny at all but whatever... I don't know how often I'll update this but it's something I guess.


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